The Man (2005)

Samuel L. Jackson: Derrick Vann

Photos 

Quotes 

• [from trailer] 

  [after Derrick shoots Andy in the butt] 

  Andy Fidler : You shot me!

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : I grazed you.

  Andy Fidler : Well, that's still shooting me!

• Andy Fidler : I just think we should be cooperating if I'm going to be your partner...

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : You are *not* my partner!

  Andy Fidler : Really? Then what am I?

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : You're my bitch. My own personal bitch. When I pull the strings, you dance. Till then, you sit there, keep your mouth shut, and don't say a word... like the puppet you are.

• Special Agent Derrick Vann : You know how I can tell you're lyin'? I can smell the bullshit coming out of your mouth.

• Special Agent Derrick Vann : I'm gonna check the front of my car. If it smells like ass, I'm gonna beat you like a runaway slave.

• Special Agent Derrick Vann : If you try to run this time, I'll put a bullet in a part of your ass where you're gonna need it.

• Andy Fidler : [while farting]  It's just a little flatulence.

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : Just a little flatulence? An elephant can shit in the back and not smell as bad.

• [repeated line] 

  Andy Fidler , Special Agent Derrick Vann : Oh, fuck-cryin' out loud!

• Special Agent Derrick Vann : Which one of you spice girls blew my partner away?

  Joey : That would be me.

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : Well, I guess that makes you scary spice.

• Andy Fidler : Well, you left the keys in the ignition. Not the smartest thing to do for a policeman.

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : This would be a good time for you to be quiet. I know that's nearly impossible for you, but if I hear the sound of your voice right now, I can't be responsible for my actions. So this would be a very good time for you to shut up!

• Andy Fidler : I haven't met anyone that I didn't become friends with... eventually.

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : Really? Because I haven't met anyone who's ass I didn't kick... eventually.

• Andy Fidler : Does the expression, "No man is an island", ring any bells?

  Special Agent Derrick Vann : [yelling]  Does the expression, "Shut your ass up!", ring any bells?

• Special Agent Derrick Vann : Oh, so you the MAN now?

  Andy Fidler : Y-yes, I am the man!

• Special Agent Derrick Vann : [to Internal Affairs]  You wanna charge me with not being upset, go right ahead.