The Lives of Others (2006)

Ulrich Tukur: Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : I have to show you something: "Prison Conditions for Subversive Artists: Based on Character Profile". Pretty scientific, eh? And look at this: "Dissertation Supervisor, A. Grubitz". That's great, isn't it? I only gave him a B. They shouldn't think getting a doctorate with me is easy. But his is first-class. Did you know that there are just five types of artists? Your guy, Dreyman, is a Type 4, a "hysterical anthropocentrist." Can't bear being alone, always talking, needing friends. That type should never be brought to trial. They thrive on that. Temporary detention is the best way to deal with them. Complete isolation and no set release date. No human contact the whole time, not even with the guards. Good treatment, no harassment, no abuse, no scandals, nothing they could write about later. After 10 months, we release. Suddenly, that guy won't cause us any more trouble. Know what the best part is? Most type 4s we've processed in this way never write anything again. Or paint anything, or whatever artists do. And that without any use of force. Just like that. Kind of like a present.

• Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : [enthusiastic]  I've got a new one. So... Honecker comes into his office in the morning... opens the window, looks at the sun, and says...

  Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : [starts to worry]  ... eh... what is it?

  Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : [startled]  Oh, excuse me. That was... I'm just... I...

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [tries to put Stigler at ease]  No no no, please colleague. We can still laugh about our state officials. Don't worry.

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [almost laughing]  I probably know it already anyway.

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [encouraging]  Come on! Tell it.

  Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : [feeling more comfortable]  Well... Honecker, I mean... the General Secretary... sees the sun, and says, 'Good morning dear sun!'

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [with high pitch mocking voice]  'Good morning dear sun!'

  Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : ...and the sun answered, 'Good morning dear Erich!' At afternoon Erich sees the sun again and says, 'Good day dear sun' And the sun says: 'Good day dear Erich!' After work Honecker goes back to the window and says, 'Good evening dear sun!' But the sun doesn't answer! So he says again, 'Good evening dear sun, what's wrong?' And the sun answered and said, 'Oh, kiss my ass, I'm in the West now!'

  [laughing] 

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : Name?

  [becoming deadly serious] 

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : Rank? Department?

  Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : [frightened]  Me? Stigler, 2nd Lieutenant Alex Stigler. Department M.

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [almost sighing]  Don't need to tell you what this means for your career, what you just did.

  Unterleutnant Axel Stigler : [scared, slightly angry]  Please Lieutenant Colonel... I just...

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [angry]  You just mocked our party! That was political agitation! Surely just the tip of the iceberg! I am going to report this to the minister's office.

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : [starts laughing]  Hahahaha! I was just kidding! Pretty good, huh? Yours was good too. But I've got a better one. What is the difference between Erich Honecker and a telephone?

  [pauses] 

  Oberstleutnant Anton Grubitz : Nothing! Hang up... try again. Hahaha!