The Ant Bully (2006)

Zach Tyler Eisen: Lucas Nickle

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Hova : Cross my heart, I will not eat you.

  Lucas Nickle : Cross your heart, not your butt!

• Lucas Nickle : Ah, Kraznoks!

• Lucas Nickle : Hello! Earth to ant lady! You were right in the middle of sounding like my mom!

• [from trailer] 

  Lucas Nickle : He's come to wipe out the entire colony! We can work together to stop him.

• Lucas Nickle : [running]  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  Fugax : Does anybody know what an "AHHHHHHHH!" is?

  Fugax : [Frog lands behind him and he turns around]  I think I just figured it out

• Hova : [entering Lucas' house]  Do all of your guests pass under this door?

  Lucas Nickle : Well, actually, you guys are the first friends I've had over.

  Hova : We are the first ones? Kreela! We're the first ones to pass under the door!

  Kreela : Great...

  Fugax : And to think, all of this is made from your own POOP!

  [sniffs] 

  Fugax : Nice...

• Tiffany Nickle : [on the phone]  This is Tiff. Hi, Mom. Yeah, everything's fine. Lucas is being a pest. He's in his room playing his stupid video games.

  Lucas Nickle : [to Fugax rolling a purple jelly bean]  No, no!

  [Hova and Kreela also try to get Fugax to hide. Fugax waves to them like everything's fine] 

  Tiffany Nickle : I will. I will. Okay, Mom. Yes. I'm hugging the phone too. Uh-huh. Bye

  [hangs up] 

• Lucas Nickle : [as Lucas and the ants fly around the house with rose petals]  This is Hawaii. We went there last summer. It's got volcanoes and hula dancers and Don Ho and surfboards. And I caught a fish. And these are the pyramids. And these are the pyramids. Well, not the real pyramids. The real ones are lots bigger. Mommo says aliens built them. She's my grandma.

  [they fly over to the next fan towards the family picture] 

  Hova : Oh, are these your nest mates?

  Lucas Nickle : Yeah, that's my family.

  Hova : Ooh. Which one's the queen?

  Lucas Nickle : My sister thinks she is.

  [sighs] 

  Hova : What's wrong?

  Lucas Nickle : Nothing, it's just, well... I should have told my mom goodbye. That's all. I can be a real jerk sometimes.

  [he cries] 

  Hova : Lucas, your face is leaking.

  Lucas Nickle : Leaking? Oh, no, it's okay.

  Hova : Is that what humans do when they're sad? They leak from the face? When ants are sad, we do this:

  [shows sad face with big eyes] 

• Lucas Nickle : Maybe Zoc is right. N-now I'll never get home.

• Lucas Nickle : It's funny. The sky looks exactly the same. Everything else is so different but it's the same sky, the same stars.

  [he yawns] 

  Zoc : Why must you keep doing that? Are you ill?

  Lucas Nickle : What? Oh, you mean yawning. I'm just tired.

  Zoc : Please stop. It's disgusting.

  Lucas Nickle : Ants don't yawn?

  Zoc : Uh, definitely not, thank you.

  Lucas Nickle : [Yawns] 

  Zoc : [Disgusted sighs]  So this city of yours, it's like a nest?

  Lucas Nickle : Well, yeah. Kind of.

  Zoc : And the humans that live there are all brothers working together for the greatness of their colony?

  Lucas Nickle : Well, not exactly. It's a little more like, you know, every man for himself.

  Zoc : But that's so primitive. How does anything get done?

  Lucas Nickle : Some people work together.

  Zoc : Some. Why not all?

  Lucas Nickle : I suppose it's because of their differences.

  Zoc : But it's the differences that make a colony strong. Foragers, scouts, drones, nurses, regurgitators all are different but an essential part of the whole. This is where we ants draw our strength.

  Lucas Nickle : My differences just get me beat up.

  Zoc : And why is that?

  Lucas Nickle : I don't know. Some humans prefer to clobber people they don't understand.

  Zoc : Like you prefer to clobber ants.

  Lucas Nickle : I guess I didn't think about what I was doing. Seems to happen a lot.

  [he yawns] 

  Zoc : Zoc: I suppose sometimes I, too, can act without thinking. Heh. Perhaps in this way, we are alike.

  [he yawns widely as he drifted off to sleep] 

  Zoc : Good night, Lucas.

  Lucas Nickle : Good night, Zoc.

• Zoc : But - But who will teach him our ways?

  Hova : I will.

  Zoc : Hova?

  Queen Ant : It is done. Let us continue our work.

  Lucas Nickle : That's it? How long am I gonna be like this? I want to go home! Wait! It's inhuman!

  Head of Council : Yes. It is.

• Zoc : You know what this is? This is the potion that will make you big again. I just wanted you to take a good, long look at it. Because this is the last time you will ever see it.

  Lucas Nickle : What do you mean?

  Zoc : I mean there is no way I'm ever going to make you big again.

  [chuckles] 

  Zoc : Ever. You are a threat to every ant in this colony. Especially to Hova.

  Lucas Nickle : But I would never do anything to hurt Hova. I just - I - I just wanna go home.

  Zoc : Well, then, if I were you, I'd try to find help somewhere else, because there is nothing for you here. Nothing.

• Stan Beals : Hello.

  [Lucas screams and turns around. Stan laughs] 

  Stan Beals : Yep. I was about your age when I flooded my first colony.

  [chuckles] 

  Stan Beals : Brother, those were good times. Good times!

  Lucas Nickle : Uh, who are you?

  Stan Beals : Stan Beals is the name.

  [throws magnet to Lucas] 

  Stan Beals : Beals-A-Bug Pest Control. Exterminator, eradicator, solver of problems.

  [laughs] 

  Stan Beals : Hey, you must be the Nickle boy, right? Now, your dad ordered my services, but he forgot to sign the contract before he left. Busy Man. Lot on his mind. It happens. So he just told me to talk to you... er...

  Lucas Nickle : Lucas.

  Stan Beals : Yeah, Lucas. He said "You have my son Lucas sign the contract for me if I happen to forget to before I leave. He's a grown man now." His exact words

  [hands contract and pen to Lucas] 

  Lucas Nickle : Hmm. I don't know. Do you have any references?

  Stan Beals : References?

  [kills fly from his cigar] 

  Stan Beals : There's one.

  [laughs and slaps a fly on his face] 

  Lucas Nickle : I don't think I should.

  Stan Beals : You don't think you should. You don't think? So who does your thinking for you? Your mommy? Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what do I do? I'm just a little baby that can't think for myself. Please wipe my little bottom for me. Wipe me. Oh, oh, please, wipe me. Wah wah wah wah wah.

  Lucas Nickle : Give me that stupid contract.

  [snatches contract from Beals' hands] 

  Stan Beals : Yes, sir. A very mature decision. "Enjoy a world that's entirely bug free/Just sign right here and leave the killing to me". I wrote that.

• Lucas Nickle : [to the ants]  Who are you? What did you do to me? Let me go!

• Queen Ant : Greetings, my children... and to our unusual guest. A human that threatens the very existence of our colony.

  Lucas Nickle : Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. How was I supposed to know ants have feelings or families or trials? You're just a bunch of stupid ants.

• Queen Ant : Be still, be still. Tonight we have a choice. We could destroy this human and make safe this day. Or we could change the nature of his human and perhaps create a brighter future for all ants. I therefore the human to live and work in the colony to learn our ways. He must become an ant.

  Lucas Nickle , Zoc : What?

  Zoc : No. No, my queen. What if he does not become an ant? Okay, I mean, come on.

  Queen Ant : That would be regrettable.

• Lucas Nickle : Come on, man. I'm running out of underwear.

  Mullet Boy : Well, what are you gonna do about it, huh? Nothing. Because I'm big and you're small.

  Nicky : Yeah. Because he's big and you're small.

  Mullet Boy : [Mullet Boy hits Nicky at the back of the head]  Hey.

  Mullet Boy : Quit repeating everything I say.

  Nicky : I was just adding emphasis, dude.

  [Mullet boy flicks Nicky's ear] 

  Nicky : Ow. Man, why you gotta be hating?

• Hova : Peanut, you need to...

  Lucas Nickle : My name is Lucas, not Peanut! Lu--cas!

• Doreen Nickle : [an engrossed Lucas is sitting behind the chair alone playing a game]  Lucas, what are you doing back there? Why didn't you answer? Are you all right, sweetie?

  Lucas Nickle : I'm fine, Mom. I was just playing with my friends.

  Doreen Nickle : I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't go on vacation.

  Fred Nickle : Come on, it's our big wedding anniversary. We're going to Puerco Vallarta. And I gotta spend a little quality time with the mamacita.

  Lucas Nickle : Don't cancel your vacation just because of me. I can solve my own problems.

  Doreen Nickle : Problems? What problems? Does it have to do anything with why I can't find your underwear?

  Lucas Nickle : [Grumpier]  No!

  Doreen Nickle : Bed-wetting is nothing to be ashamed of, Peanut.

  Lucas Nickle : What? Just stop it, Mom! I don't have any problems except for you treating me like a baby!

  Doreen Nickle : [Gasps]  Peanut?

  Lucas Nickle : Stop calling me that! Just go away and leave me alone.