Black Christmas (2006)
Michelle Trachtenberg: Melissa
Photos
Quotes
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[phone rings]
Melissa Kitt : I got it.
[caller I.D. reads Megan Helms]
Melissa Kitt : Why is Megan calling here?
Melissa Kitt : [answers phone] Hey, where are you?
Billy Lenz : [eerily edited recordings, heavy breathing heard in background] Claire will you just answer me...
[muffled, echoed voice]
Billy Lenz : She's my family now... she's my family now...
[higher pitched]
Billy Lenz : Santa Claus...
[muffled voice again]
Billy Lenz : Why Santa? Fuck Santa! FUCK SANTA!
[hangs up phone]
Melissa Kitt : That was not Megan.
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Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Didn't I see Clair earlier?
Kelli Presely : Isn't she upstairs writing a card to her sister?
Melissa Kitt : No, I think her sister picked her up earlier. Remember, this is the occasion for Clair and her sister and her mom to bury the hatchet and rediscover each other.
Dana Mathis : I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head.
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Heather Lee : I'm really not okay with any of this. I mean, buying a Christmas present for a serial killer?
Melissa Kitt : No. You see, serial killers murder repeatedly for sexual thrill. Billy Lenz was a spree killer - dude just fucking lost it.
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Melissa Kitt : I'm sorry, but that-that fuckin' voice, that was not Megan or Kyle. That was the fucking devil, and he was not talking to us, he was talking to Billy.
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[Melissa is taking care of drunk Lauren, who is hugging the toilet]
Lauren Hanon : You know, you're a better sister to me than my own sister.
Melissa Kitt : Yeah, and Dick Cheney is a better sister to you than your sister.
Lauren Hanon : You know what I mean.
[Melissa begins shaking vomit off of her hand]
Melissa Kitt : Yeah, I know, eww, I love you too, but honey, you're really, really smelly. You need to take a shower, can you handle it?
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Melissa Kitt : Happy Holidays!
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Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Who hasn't gotten a gift yet? Oh, Lauren.
Dana Mathis : Just give her a shot of tequila, and wish her happy holidays.
[Dana hands Lauren a drink, who is already obviously drunk]
Melissa Kitt : Happy Holidays!
[Lauren downs the shot of tequila, then takes a drink of her wine]
Melissa Kitt : Okay, I know this is supposed to be the whole "Secret Santa" thing, but, I know that Clair drew your name.
Lauren Hanon : Oh, yeah, she get me anything good?
Melissa Kitt : Oh yeah... it's a music box. It plays "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies".
Lauren Hanon : Oh, fuck no. I'm already startin' to see the Sugar Plum Fairies, I don't need to hear the little fuckers too!
Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Language, language!
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Ms. Barbara MacHenry : [Searching for Billy's present under the christmas tree] Billy! Billy! Girls, I can't find Billy's present under the tree here. Come on, girls, we can't start the secret santa without Billy's present! Hello? Who drew Billy's name?
Melissa Kitt : Um, Ms. Mac, it's a secret santa.
Dana Mathis : [Doing her nails] Can we just get on with this thing? So I can party for a few days before having to deal with the family on Christmas.
Melissa Kitt : Have you looked outside? It's raining hail the size of Yao's ballsack!
Dana Mathis : It'll stop. The party gods wouldn't allow me to be here alone during Christmas break.
Kelli Presely : Oh, I'll be here, Dana.
[Disapointed]
Kelli Presely : Yeah, they're makin' me work next week.
Melissa Kitt : That sucks, everyone should be home for Christmas.
Ms. Barbara MacHenry : All right, all right, who's not here?
Kelli Presely : Um, like everybody.
Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Chelsea?
Kelli Presely : She went home this morning.
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Melissa Kitt : Have you looked outside? It's raining hail the size of Yao's ball sack.
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Melissa Kitt : That sucks, everyone should be home for Christmas.
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Heather : Call the police!
Lauren Hanon : Please. The police are gonna do shit about one wack job phone call.
Dana Mathis : Just dial *69.
Melissa Kitt : That just calls him back unless there's something you need him to clarify.
Melissa Kitt : [checks caller ID; the phone reads Clark Crosby] Caller ID says Clair's cell.
Heather : [looking at Lauren] You really shouldn't provoke someone like that.
Lauren Hanon : What would you know about dealing with anyone other than your NASCAR daddy?
Heather : I'm goin' home.
Lauren Hanon : [Heather walks through Melissa and Lauren, bumping Lauren's shoulder] Yeah, yeah. Run to daddy!
Heather : [turns around] At least my family wants me to come home.
Kelli Presely : You guys. Come on. It's like, Christmas time.
Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Yeah. Come on, Heather. What about your present?
Heather : [turns, continues walking] Give it to Billy.
Heather : [turns back around and Eve appears in front of her; she gasps]
