Knocked Up (2007)

Martin Starr: Martin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jonah : Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing?

  Martin : Oh, another beard joke?

  Jonah : How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

  Martin : It was really awkward.

  Jonah : See ya... Scorcese on coke.

• Jonah : We got pinkeye.

  Ben Stone : Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?

  Jason : Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.

  Jay : Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.

  Pete : You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?

  Jonah : Totally!

  Pete : That's awesome!

  Jonah : Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?

  Martin : No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.

• Martin : Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.

  Ben Stone : So are we...

  Ben Stone : You weren't chosen for a reason.

• Jason : You stay here.

  Martin : Why?

  Jason : Cause your face looks like a vagina.

  Martin : Dick!

  Jonah : How's it going Crockett, been hanging with Tubbs lately?

  Martin : Come on man, I'm getting it from all angles here, I really don't like it anymore.

  Jonah : I know, me either. Was it weird when you changed your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

  Martin : Yeah, it was really awkward.

  Jonah : All right, see you later Scorcese on coke.

  Jay : [Makes a roar like Chewbacca from Star Wars] 

  Martin : What the fuck was that?

  Jay : You know, Chewbacca.

  Martin : Oh, another beard joke.

  Jay : [walks away, embarrassed]  Fuck.

  Martin : Fucking hilarious!

• Martin : Thanks for the free money, Bitch.

• Martin : Do you ever get so bored, you just stare at your balls?

  Jonah : I bet you do, late John Lennon.

• Martin : Fuck me in the beard.

• Martin : You guys aren't suppose to make fun at me thats not part of the rules.

  Jason : Martin why didn't you just listen when I was explaining the rules? You just looked at me with that blank stare of yours - it was like talking to a wax statue.