- Dr. Dick Solomon: From this day forward, people will refer to me as a lifelong bachelor.
- Harry Solomon: You're not gonna start wearing pastel cardigans and open up an antique store, are you?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Whatever gets me the ladies.
- [in the stinger, after Dick and Mary leave]
- Martha Albright: George, there's something I have to tell you: you're not Mary's father.
- George Albright: I've suspected that for a long time, Martha. Does she know?
- Martha Albright: Oh, don't be silly. Of course not.
- George Albright: Good. Next time they visit.
- [Tommy and Harry are helping Sally move boxes into Nina's apartment]
- Tommy Solomon: Harry, y'gotta help me with this one. It's full of books and rocks and stuff. It weighs a ton.
- Harry Solomon: Step aside, Junior. Time to clean and jerk. One, two, three...
- [he takes hold, then lifts, and it goes flying into the air]
- Tommy Solomon: [Tommy laughs, thoroughly enjoying his joke] It was empty!
- Harry Solomon: No. I'm the strongest man in the world.