American Dad! (TV Series)

Stannie Get Your Gun (2005)

Rachael MacFarlane: Hayley Smith

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Francine is preparing a tray of lemonade for Stan's meeting of the National Gun Association in the living room] 

  Hayley Smith : I can't believe you're feeding those extremists from the National Gun Association. They're monsters!

  Francine Smith : Oh sweetheart don't be so dramatic. Besides, aren't you having fun cooking with mommy?

  Hayley Smith : I'm not "cooking with mommy!" Dad handcuffed me to the oven!

  Francine Smith : [stern]  Well, if it weren't for handcuffs and your father you wouldn't even be here, young lady.

• Dr. Heisler : [pointing to x-ray]  See? The second bullet passed through your neck and pushed the first bullet out. You should be completely ambulatory again.

  Stanley Smith : [distraught]  What good is that to a man who has to spend the rest of his life in a chair?

  [stabs Stan in the leg with a fork] 

  Stanley Smith : Aaaaaah! Doc, your fork has magical powers!

  Dr. Heisler : It's the bullet that saved you.

  Stanley Smith : This is great! We've gotta go back on tour and spread the word. Guns are good!

  Hayley Smith : What?

  Stanley Smith : Without guns I'd still be in a wheelchair. Guns heal the sick!