Merton J. Dingle: It says, uh, Tri-Chi formed their own coven in 1790. A coven that practices black magic.
Tommy Dawkins: Black magic? Well, that sounds bad.
Merton J. Dingle: Yeah. Tres bad. Fairuza Balk in The Craft bad! Tommy, black wiccas are hedonistic pagans known for their demonic rituals! And their also renowned for their... blue ribbon fruit pies?
Tommy Dawkins: I can't believe this. I actually brought Stacy to a bunch of evil witches just so we could go to the same college.
Merton J. Dingle: Tommy, we gotta get Stacey out of the clutches of this dark sisterhood soon before it's game over!
Tommy Dawkins: Stacey's a witch? I can't date a witch.
Merton J. Dingle: Tommy, you're a werewolf. I mean, I'm no Chuck Woolery, but kinda seems like the Halloween episode of Love Connection.
Tommy Dawkins: Oh, come on, Merton. What are we gonna do?
Merton J. Dingle: Relax, Tommy. You know. Don't go all Salem Witch Trial on Stacey just yet. Remember, there's just as many good witches out there as bad ones.
Tommy Dawkins: Okay. Okay, okay. I'm listening, I'm listening.
Merton J. Dingle: Think Casper's friend Wendy. Or Tabitha from Bewitched with that cute little wiggly nose.