- Buffy: Did you know about this?
- Rupert Giles: No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, much as I will Xander's vigorous use of his tongue.
- [Giles takes off his glasses and starts wiping them]
- Buffy: Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you don't have to see what we're doing?
- Rupert Giles: Tell no one.
- Rupert Giles: [after Anya decides to have an after-holiday sale] Brooms all around, then.
- Willow Rosenberg: Or I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It'll be like Fantasia.
- Rupert Giles: We all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey.
- Willow Rosenberg: I think I'm a little more adept than a cartoon mouse.
- Tara Maclay: And you have more fingers, which is good, 'cause then there's no need to wear those big, white gloves to overcompensate.
- Buffy Summers: Were you parking, with a vamp?
- Dawn Summers: I-I didn't know he was dead.
- Justin: Living dead.
- Dawn Summers: Shut up!
- Buffy Summers: How could you not know?
- Dawn Summers: I just met him.
- Buffy Summers: Oh! Oh, so you were parking in the woods with a boy you just met.
- [watching Anya and Dawn doing a happy dance at the cash register]
- Xander Harris: I'm gonna marry that girl.
- Buffy Summers: What? She's 15 and my sister, so don't eve-
- [realizes who he means]
- Buffy Summers: Oh.
- [angrily scolding a woman in traditional witch costume]
- Willow Rosenberg: I'm just saying you might wanna *rethink* the stereotype before someone turns *you* into a toad.
- [the woman grabs the book she is trying to buy and walks away]
- Willow Rosenberg: And while you're at it, why don't you try removing that broomstick from your- Dawn!
- Dawn Summers: Hey. Don't stop the invective on account of me.
- Willow Rosenberg: If I see one more idiot that thinks witches are all hairy moles and rotten teeth...
- [interrupted by a little girl dressed in traditional witch costume]
- Witchy Poo: Excuse me. Do you have any candy corn?
- Willow Rosenberg: Oh! Look at you! You are just the cutest thing!
- Dawn Summers: But, I-I thought you said...
- Willow Rosenberg: I know. But look. With the hat, and the-the wart! Ah. Oh! Let's go fill your tummy up with sugary niblets, okay?
- Anya: I-I mean, there's just so much to consider though. I mean, planning the wedding and new cars, a house and babies. You have to plan for babies, otherwise they'll just run roughshod over your entire existence.
- Dawn Summers: So what are you supposed to be?
- Anya: An angel.
- Dawn Summers: Oh. Shouldn't you have wings?
- Anya: Oh, no. This is a special kind of angel called a "Charlie." We don't have wings. We just skate around with perfect hair fighting crime.
- Buffy Summers: How many other things have changed since I've been away?
- Dawn Summers: Oh, I got a tattoo.
- Buffy Summers: What?
- Willow Rosenberg: Which is why we told her no.
- Dawn Summers: Just a litle one?
- Buffy Summers: Over my dead body. The kind that doesn't come back.
- Rupert Giles: [to Xander] Anya is a wonderful former vengeance demon. I'm sure you'll spend many years of non-hell dimensional bliss.
- Chunky Kid: What is your *malfunction*, man?
- Spike: It's Halloween, you nit. We take the night *off*. Those are the rules.
- Chunky Kid: Me and mine don't follow no stinkin' rules. We're rebels.
- Spike: No. I'm a rebel. You're an idiot.
- [stakes him]
- Spike: Give the lot of us a bad name.
- [first lines]
- Anya: Um, everything on this table's half off, including the table. Buy one eyeball, get the second one free.
- Buffy Summers: Sorry about the party.
- Xander Harris: Ah, don't worry about it.
- Anya: It gave me more time to plan the bridal shower. Uh, where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers?
- [Giles is holding an ice-pack to his face]
- Buffy Summers: How's your face?
- Rupert Giles: Oh, still ruggedly handsome. "Grandpa" indeed. Ow.
- Dawn Summers: I've been kissed before. I-I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss slut. Just, you know, with-with the lips and-and the pressing together and stuff, hey, expert here... Okay, okay. It was my first kiss. I know, I know, I suck. My-My lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled on you.