- Spike: I'm not sampling, I'll have you know. I mean, look at all these lovely blood-covered people. I could, but not a taste for Spike, not a lick. I knew you wouldn't like it.
- Buffy Summers: You want credit for not feeding off bleeding disaster victims?
- Spike: Well, yeah.
- Buffy Summers: You're disgusting.
- [leaves]
- Spike: [to himself] What's it take?
- Olaf: You... told the witch to do that, Anyanka. You seem determined to put an end to all my fun, just like you always did when we were *dating*!
- [everyone looks at Anya in disbelief]
- Anya: Uh, um...
- Xander Harris: You dated him?
- Buffy Summers: You dated a troll?
- Willow Rosenberg: And we're what, surprised by this?
- Willow Rosenberg: [impersonating Anya] "I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services."
- Xander Harris: So, how goes the slaying?
- Buffy Summers: I killed something in a convent last night.
- Xander Harris: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction. Tell us all about the killing, Buff.
- Buffy Summers: Pretty standard. Vampire staking. Oh! But I met a nun and she let me try on her wimple.
- Xander Harris: Okay, now we're back to frightening.
- Anya: You're referencing literature I have no way to be familiar with. You're trying to make me feel left out, and you're stealing.
- Willow Rosenberg: I'm not stealing. I-I-I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what *twisted* dictionary is that stealing?
- Xander Harris: Also, sometimes I'll say something about Anya and Willow will get this look, this, um, What-The-Hell-Do-You-See-In-Her look.
- Spike: I know that look. A lot of people never really got Dru, you know.
- Xander Harris: Well, she was insane.
- [in response to being asked to fight a troll]
- Spike: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
- Anya: Xander...? If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights, and-and-and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of, of colored wires, and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, no, the red one, and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?
- Tara Maclay: Is it that bad?
- Buffy Summers: Sort of. But I'm starting to get perspective on the whole situation. You know, maybe Riley's where he's supposed to be. You know, maybe he needed to be where he was needed.
- Tara Maclay: Willow says that things always happen for a reason.
- Buffy Summers: But you ever notice people only say that about bad things?
- Willow Rosenberg: We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
- Tara Maclay: I said "quirky."
- Rupert Giles: The resources that the Watchers Council have at their disposal, I mean, the central library alone is...
- Buffy Summers: Don't talk about the books again. You get all... And sometimes there's drool.
- Rupert Giles: Um, Anya, while-while I completely trust you, uh-uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um... dealing with people requires a certain, uh, finesse.
- Anya: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my *bottom*! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles and-and bribe him with money and goods.
- Xander Harris: Don't let me stop you from not being here.
- Spike: I was here first, you know.
- Xander Harris: Uh-huh. Go away.
- Spike: Now, why would I do that when it's bugging you so much having me here...? They have chicken wings, too. Also, a sort of a flower-shaped thing they make from an onion. It's brilliant.
- Xander Harris: Are you talking to me hoping that I'll get so depressed that I'll impale myself on a fork right in front of you?
- Spike: Lovely thought. If I don't hurt you myself, the chip wouldn't zap me. I could eat you that way. Beat the onion thing all to hell.
- Willow Rosenberg: I wish Buffy was here.
- Buffy Summers: [enters the room] I'm here!
- Willow Rosenberg: I wish I had a million dollars!
- [everyone stares at her]
- Willow Rosenberg: Just checking.
- Olaf: I shall reward you. Only one of your women shall die, and you shall be the one to choose.
- Willow Rosenberg: Did you just say...
- Olaf: Choose. Anyanka or the witch. One of your women must die.
- Xander Harris: No... You are one crazy troll. I-I'm not choosing between my girlfriend and my best friend. That's insane troll logic.
- [Buffy is fighting a troll]
- Anya: How can I help?
- Willow Rosenberg: Uh, distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off.
- Anya: I don't know how.
- Willow Rosenberg: Anya, I have faith in you. There is *no* one you cannot piss off.
- Anya: Humans make the same mistakes over and over. I saw it when I was a Vengeance Demon. Some guy dumps a girl. She calls me. I exact vengeance, blah, blah, blah. The next year, same girl, different guy. I mean, after you smite a few of 'em, you-you start going, "My goodness, young lady, maybe you're doing something wrong here, too."
- Willow Rosenberg: Come on. It'll be fun. We could show you how to do some stuff. Yo-You could be floating pencils by the end of the day.
- Anya: Sometimes I miss having powers... Oh. Oh! I know what this is! This is peer pressure! Any second now you're gonna make me smoke tobacco and-and have drugs.
- Xander Harris: Well, we can take care of the hungry. So, how's about you just sit down in one of the sturdier chairs, and we can have a calm talk and something to eat.
- Olaf: Can it be babies?
- Xander Harris: Well, not so much.
- Olaf: Ooh.
- Xander Harris: But maybe... some roast pigs and stags and... much hearty grog.
- Spike: They've got this onion thing.
- [first lines]
- Xander Harris: You ever have that feeling where there's something you know you're supposed to do, and you forgot what it was.
- Anya: Nope.
- Buffy Summers: It's okay. You can say his name. I'm doing all right. These things happen. People break up and they move on. For a while it feels like the end of the world, you know, but big picture...
- Rupert Giles: Not so huge.
- Buffy Summers: Not so huge? I just said it feels like the end of the world! Don't you listen...? I'm teasing.
- Rupert Giles: Oh.
- Buffy Summers: Sort of... I'll be okay.
- Dawn Summers: I was just starting to kind of like the guy, and then... gone. So fast.
- Buffy Summers: It wasn't really so fast, him leaving. According to everyone else who isn't me, it was kind of gradual.
- Dawn Summers: Oh... Does that make it any better?
- Buffy Summers: No.
- Dawn Summers: Because you should have noticed earlier?
- Buffy Summers: Stop being insightful. It's creepy.
- [last lines]
- Buffy Summers: They don't know that it's Dawn.
- Rupert Giles: No.
- Joyce Summers: I still can't even begin to grasp this. She's my little girl.
- Rupert Giles: It is disorienting.
- Buffy Summers: Giles, what happens if they figure it out? What would they do?
- Rupert Giles: I don't know...
- Joyce Summers: Oh, I can't even think about this. it's too... I'll get some more milk.
- Anya: Is this the spell?
- Willow Rosenberg: Only if you want him to double in size and grow extra arms, which- Let's not.