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- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Norm, I got to ask you a question.
- Norm Peterson: All right.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Over the years, I've been pretty bad to Clavin. I've done some things that maybe I shouldn't have: called him names, punctured his tires, set fire to his hair...
- Norm Peterson: What's your question?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Do you think he noticed?
- Sam Malone: [about the organizers changing the Miss Boston Barmaid contest to a skills based contest rather than chest size contest] The whole contest has gone to hell. I mean, believe me, I really presented my case to the contest committee. Look, I made a graph, here, look at this.
- [Sam holds up a line graph, the points which are pretty consistently high except for one very low point]
- Sam Malone: Now these are the bust measurements of all the winners since 1976, and almost to a woman, they're over a thirty-eight.
- Woody Boyd: What's this one that dips way down here?
- Sam Malone: Ah, that's the year Diane won.
- Woody Boyd: Carla, are you going to try out for this contest?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: I don't think so.
- Woody Boyd: You heard Sam. It's not about looks this year.
- [unprovoked, Carla pushes Cliff off his bar stool]
- Cliff Clavin: What did you do that for?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: It's nothing personal. Just letting off steam.
- Cliff Clavin: Why didn't you push Norm off his stool?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: You don't know much about physics, do you?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Norm, I got to ask you a question.
- Norm Peterson: All right.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Over the years, I've been pretty bad to Clavin. I've done some things that maybe I shouldn't have: called him names, punctured his tires, set fire to his hair...
- Norm Peterson: What's your question?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Do you think he noticed?
- Woody Boyd: Boy, that Carla sure is smart, buttering up to Mr. Clavin so she'll win. I wish I had those smarts when I was doing the county fair circuit with my hog, Mirabelle. Rule number one: you gotta schmooze. You gotta go to the right parties, you gotta sell out. I wouldn't, so I brought Mirabelle home a loser. Broke my heart.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: How was Mirabelle?
- Woody Boyd: Not bad with applesauce.
- Norm Peterson: [after his paint gun explodes, covering Sam's office and everything in it with white paint] Relax. It dries much lighter.