Cheers (TV Series)

Chambers vs. Malone (1987)

Rhea Perlman: Carla Tortelli

Quotes 

• Sam Malone : Do I look like a guy who is about to do something stupid?

  Carla Tortelli : Always.

• Tom Babson : Hey everybody, you're not going to believe this.

  Cliff Clavin : You passed the bar, I'll believe anything.

  Tom Babson : Yeah? Well, Sam's in jail, smartypants.

  Carla Tortelli : What?

  Tom Babson : Yeah, Diane had him arrested for assault and battery.

  Carla Tortelli : My hero.

  [She pronounces it hera] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Is Diane alright?

  Tom Babson : I think she's fine, I just don't have all the details.

  Norm Peterson : Well, how do you know all this stuff?

  Tom Babson : Sam called me to retain my services.

  Cliff Clavin : To do what, prune his trees?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Has he been arraigned yet?

  Tom Babson : No, two o'clock.

  Carla Tortelli : Well maybe we ought to go down to the courthouse, in case Sammy needs character witnesses.

  Tom Babson : No, they don't do that until the trial, Carla.

  Norm Peterson : Well what sort of defense are you planning on using?

  Tom Babson : I"m thinking about pleading insanity.

  Cliff Clavin : Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. What about Sammy?