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"Cheers" Home Malone (TV Episode 1991) Poster

(TV Series)

(1991)

Quotes

Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm proud to tell you that my lovely wife is being honored tonight by the scientific community for her contributions to the study of sensory deprivation.

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: It was serendipitous, I admit. I returned to the lab after a two-week holiday to find that I had locked my lab assistant in the isolation tank. Suffice to say, what could have turned out to be a nasty lawsuit turned into an award winning paper.

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Carla Tortelli-LeBec: [about Kelly] She really is dumber than cotton.

[Woody enters]

Woody Boyd: Hi, Carla.

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Hi, Cotton.

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Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: [talking about Sam babysitting Frederick] I don't know how comfortable I feel with this set-up. He's just a baby, he needs supervision.

Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, Sam can take care of it.

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: I'm talking about Sam. You know how out out of control he can get at times, what a mess he can make of everything.

Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, Sam can clean it up. Oh...

Dr. Frasier CraneDr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: You're/I'm talking about Sam.

Dr. Frasier Crane: Darling, it'll just be for a few hours.

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: All right, but if anything goes wrong, he could be scarred for life.

Dr. Frasier Crane: You mean Sam, right?

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Yes, and it is a threat.

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Sam Malone: Say, Carla, I'm babysitting tonight. You got any advice for me?

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Sure. Here's everything you need to know about babies. Remember, you're the boss.

Sam Malone: Yeah.

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Don't let them give you any lip. And if they start to act crabby, stick a bottle in their mouth.

Sam Malone: Great, OK, great.

[Sam leaves and Kelly, who has just started working as a waitress at the bar, enters]

Kelly Gaines: OK, I'm ready.

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: OK. Here's everything you need to know about customers. Remember, you're the boss. Don't let them give you any lip. And if they start to act crabby, just stick a bottle in their mouths.

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