- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Who's Margaret O'Keefe?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: She's a young woman with whom Cliff had a brief romantic encounter.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: If you don't want to tell me, just say so. You don't have to make things up!
- Margaret 'Maggie' O'Keefe: I can't tell you how hard these months of separation have been. The men up in Canada, well they just don't compare to you.
- Cliff Clavin: Oh, oh.
- Margaret 'Maggie' O'Keefe: They're just pale, pathetic imitations of you Cliff.
- Carla LeBec: Boy, that must be one butt ugly country.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Cliff, would you be interested in taking part in a university project? No, wait, let me rephrase that. Would you be interested in *being* a university project?
- Cliff Clavin: I spent the last few hours walking around the apartment blindfolded. I know every nook and cranny by heart.
- Sam Malone: Didn't you bang the hell out of your shins?
- Cliff Clavin: Yeah, yeah, the first ten or twenty times, but those nerves are long dead now.
- Cliff Clavin: I'll just stand in front of that whatchamacallit that blows hot air.
- Carla LeBec: You mean the automatic Clavin.
- Cliff Clavin: You've seen my bumper sticker: "Letter Carriers Do It On Foot".
- Norm Peterson: Yeah. Yeah, I have seen that one. I always wonder what the hell it meant.
- Cliff Clavin: I... I'm not sure. They were giving them away free.