- Frank Barone: Didn't I teach you anything, you gotta problem with your woman you don't go out and get another one. Then you got two problems.
- Wendi: Oh, good, he's here. Dad, this is Ray Barone.
- Robert Barone: Um.
- Wendi's Father: That's not Ray Barone.
- Wendi: What?
- Wendi's Father: I've seen him in interviews.
- Robert Barone: Listen.
- Wendi's Father: This guy told you he was Ray Barone?
- Wendi: Yeah!
- Wendi's Father: What are you trying to pull?
- Wendi: You're not Ray Barone?
- Robert Barone: I have self-esteem issues.
- Wendi: What is wrong with you?
- Robert Barone: No one knows.
- Wendi's Father: [Sternly] Stay away from my daughter, understand me? Or I'll call the cops.
- Robert Barone: A-a-actually I am a cop.
- Wendi's Father: You want to play with *me* now?
- [to Wendi]
- Wendi's Father: Let's go. From now on, you do your laundry at home.
- Wendi: Weirdo!
- Robert Barone: That doesn't help my self-esteem!
- Ray Barone: You know, we make a pretty good team together, your availability and my attractiveness.
- Robert Barone: Yeah, it's like Robert-Raymond.
- Ray Barone: No, it's Raybert.