Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Robert's Divorce (2000)

Brad Garrett: Robert Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robert Barone : [after Joanne called Marie a bitch and Ray jumped in between them to hold Marie back]  What am I going to do now?

  Ray Barone : [Rubbing his shoulder in pain]  I tell you what you don't do. You don't call Mom a bitch

• Robert Barone : I want you to apologize to Raymond.

  Joanne 'Cinnamon' Glotz : Apologize for what?

  Robert Barone : For what you just said to him, and for all the mean things you've ever said about him.

  Ray Barone : She says mean things about me?

  Robert Barone : Oh, sure sure. She's sweet to your face, but as soon as you leave she talks about how your voice sounds like a wounded cow. Or how when you run, it looks like you're trying to hold a pencil between your cheeks. I'm tired of the way you treat him. He's my brother. And I'm gonna tell you something else, Joanne. Maybe if you just showed a little warmth to people, they wouldn't be so scared of you. And maybe if you just gave me a clue that you still cared about me, I wouldn't spend so much time hiding out at Ray and Debra's. And you wanna know something else? Things are gonna have to start changing around here.

  Joanne 'Cinnamon' Glotz : I want a divorce.

• Ray Barone : Listen, Robert, you really... you really should go home to your wife, 'cause Debra's got to pump breast milk.

  Debra Barone : Yeah, you know what to say. I don't have to pump, Robert. It's just that, um you and Joanne I mean, we think Joanne is great, but just sometimes, uh, you know, with you, she can be not very nice, and we were just thinking that it would help you if you told her how- Robert, stop looking at my breasts.

  Robert Barone : I'm sorry.

• Joanne 'Cinnamon' Glotz : What are you doing? What are you doing? You're supposed to be studying for your sergeant's exam! How are we ever gonna afford anything nice if this is how you study?

  Robert Barone : I'm taking a cartoon break and eating a banana!

  Joanne 'Cinnamon' Glotz : That's great! You're gonna put it off till the last minute, and then guess what? You'll be watching cartoons full time and coming to me for banana money!