Family Guy (TV Series)

Brian: Portrait of a Dog (1999)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin, Manager, Officer #2

Quotes 

• Meg Griffin : Chris! You're hogging all the fans!

  Chris Griffin : Oh yeah? Well you're hogging all the UGLY!

• Lois Griffin : Peter, Brian please! Can't you two go back to the way you used to be?

  [cut to a scene with the same characters, but styled as a 1930s version might look, then cut back to the original scene] 

  Brian Griffin : I'm never going back to the way things were, not after the way I was treated, not after the things I've seen.

  Chris Griffin : What did you see? Was it breasts?

  Peter Griffin : Ah, geez, get over it Brian, I mean, how bad you have it here? When I found you, you were nothing but a stray.

  Brian Griffin : [gasp]  You swear, you never speak of that.

  [cut to flashback of Brian and Peter's first meeting: Brian is washing car windows for change, Peter is passing in his car] 

  Peter Griffin : Uh, no thank you, I just had it cleaned.

  [Brian starts cleaning window] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh. Ah, geez.

  Brian Griffin : All set, sir.

  Peter Griffin : I don't have any change, sorry.

  Brian Griffin : Oh, that's okay. No charge.

  Peter Griffin : Wait! Wait! Uh, you're hungry? 'Cause you know, my wife makes this beefaroni casserole, out of this world.

• Meg Griffin : Ugh, it's SO hot out there.

  Peter Griffin , Brian Griffin , Lois Griffin , Chris Griffin , Stewie Griffin : How hot is it?

  Meg Griffin : I don't know. Like around 98, 99?

  Peter Griffin : [Beat]  I don't get it.

• Stewie Griffin : You! You seem to know all the players in this poorly acted farce. What do they call that one?

  Chris Griffin : That's Meg, dude. You know that.

  Stewie Griffin : Meg! You vile, smelly girl! You're not to touch any of my things! Do you understand me? Dirty, dirty girl!