Fawlty Towers (TV Series)
The Germans (1975)
Claire Davenport: Mrs. Wilson
Photos
Quotes
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[Basil has accidentally set off the burglar alarm during the fire drill, guests start walking out of the building thinking it's the fire alarm, but Basil stops them all in the lobby]
Mrs. Wilson : Oh, I thought there was a drill.
Basil Fawlty : Yes, there is, at twelve o'clock, but not yet.
Mrs. Wilson : But, it IS twelve o'clock.
Basil Fawlty : Well not quite, thank you.
Basil Fawlty : [to other guests trying to leave] Excuse me!
Mrs. Sharp : Yes.
Mrs. Wilson : Well, I make it twelve o'clock.
Basil Fawlty : [to guests] I'm afraid that wasn't the...
Mrs. Wilson : What time do you make it, Major?
Basil Fawlty : [annoyed] Look...
Major Gowen : Burglars about, I think.
Basil Fawlty : Look, it doesn't matter what time he makes it, it hasn't started yet.
Mrs. Sharp : What?
Basil Fawlty : It hasn't started yet!
Mrs. Sharp : But, that was the bell, wasn't it?
Basil Fawlty : No!
Mrs. Wilson : He means "the drill" hasn't started yet.
Mr. Sharp : What drill? We didn't hear a drill.
Basil Fawlty : [trying to explain] No, no-no-no, look, look - that was the burglar alarm.
Major Gowen : See!
Mrs. Wilson : The burglar alarm?
Basil Fawlty : Yes!
Mrs. Wilson : Are there burglars?
Major Gowen : Evidently!
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Basil Fawlty : [increasingly annoyed] No! Look, what's the matter with you all? It's perfectly simple: We have the fire drill when I ring the fire *bell*! That wasn't the fire bell! Right?
Mr. Sharp : Mr. Sharp: Well, how were we supposed to *know* that wasn't the fire bell?
Basil Fawlty : Because it doesn't *sound* like the fire bell!
All guests at once : It did.
Basil Fawlty : It didn't!
All guests at once : It did!
Basil Fawlty : No it didn't! The fire bell is a different s... i-it's a semitone higher!
Mrs. Wilson : A semitone?
Basil Fawlty : At least.
[Pointing at his watch]
Basil Fawlty : Anyway, the fire drill doesn't start til 12 o'clock!
Mr. Sharp : [Pointing at his own watch] It *is' 12 o'clock.
Basil Fawlty : [Looks at his watch] Well, it is *now*, but that's because we've been standing about arguing about it!
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Mrs. Wilson : [after Basil has explained that the earlier bell was the burglar alarm, not the fire bell] Look, how on earth can you expect us to tell which bell is which?
[Basil sighs in exasperation]
Mrs. Wilson : We haven't heard them yet, have we?
[Looks round at the other guests]
Basil Fawlty : You want to hear them? Right, suits me! Here's the burglar alarm.
[Turns it on]
Major Gowen : Ought we to catch them first?
Basil Fawlty : There *aren't* any.
Major Gowen : Then why does the alarm keep going...
Basil Fawlty : [sighs] Alright, got that? Right.
[Turns the alarm off]
Mrs. Wilson : What's happening now?
Basil Fawlty : [Ignoring her] Now, here's the fire bell, right?
[Turns it on]
Basil Fawlty : It's a completely different sound, listen.
[the guests start to leave]
Basil Fawlty : Well, where are you going?
Mrs. Wilson : Well, there is a drill, isn't there?
Basil Fawlty : [Jumping up and down in exasperation] No, no, no-no-no! This is so you can hear the bell so you know in a moment when I *ring* the bell! What are you doing? Will you come back?
Two women : We're going outside.
Basil Fawlty : No! Look, just listen to it, you old fools!
Two women : What?
Basil Fawlty : Listen to it!
[Manuel enters, gesturing frantically]
Manuel : Fire, fire, everybody out, please...
Basil Fawlty : NO!
[Manuel continues to herd everyone out]
Basil Fawlty : Will you shut up?
Manuel : Out...
Basil Fawlty : [shouting over him] Look, will you shut up?
Manuel : Is fire...
Basil Fawlty : Is *not* fire, is only bell!
[Manuel continues to protest. Polly start to head upstairs]
Basil Fawlty : Where are *you* going?
Polly Shearman : Upstairs.
Polly Shearman : There isn't a drill yet! I'm just showing them what the bell sounds like!