Friends (TV Series)

The Last One (2004)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Erica has just given birth to a baby boy] 

  Monica : Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.

  Erica : I'm really happy for you guys.

  Chandler : How do you feel?

  Erica : I'm tired.

  The Doctor : Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.

  [Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly] 

  Monica : I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?

  The Doctor : The next baby should be along in a minute.

  Monica : We only ordered one!

  The Doctor : You know it's twins, right?

  Chandler : Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!

• [Chandler pulls Monica aside when they are told that they are adopting twins] 

  Chandler : Whatta we do?

  Monica : What do you mean 'what do we do'?

  Chandler : [franctically]  Twins... Twins...

  Monica : Chandler, you're panicking!

  Chandler : Uh huh, join me, won't you? Okay what do you say we keep one and then just like have an option on the other one?

  Monica : We can't split them up!

  Chandler : Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later they'll find each other... and be reunited. I mean that's a great day for everybody.

• Monica : Chandler, you're panicking...

  Chandler : Yes! Join me, won't you?

• [last lines] 

  Rachel : Do you guys have to go to the new house right away or do you have some time?

  Monica : We've got some time.

  Rachel : Ok, should we get some coffee?

  Chandler : Sure. Where?

• Joey : Who loses fifty-seven coin tosses in a row? You know, heads she wins, tails I lose.

  Joey : Wait a minute...

  Chandler : Yes Joe?

  Joey : I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning!

• Joey : [Chick Jr and Duck Jr are trapped in the Foosball table]  Does that mean we're gonna have to bust it open?

  Chandler : I don't know. Maybe.

  Joey : Oh my God!

  Chandler : I know, it's the Foosball table.

  Joey : All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like what I'd have said in that Sci-Fi movie if I'd gotten the part: "Those are our men in there, and we have to get 'em out. Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life... my time machine."

• Joey Tribbiani : It's like I would have said in that science fiction movie if I'd have gotten the part "our men are in there and we have to get them out, even if I have to sacrifice my most precious thing in the world, my time machine"

  Chandler : Did that movie ever get made?

  Joey Tribbiani : It did not.

• Joey : Maybe we can lure them out somehow. Do you know any bird calls?

  Chandler : Oh, tons. I'm quite the woodsman.

• Ross Geller : [Looking around the empty apartment]  Wow.

  Rachel Green : I know, it seems smaller somehow.

  Joey : [Confused]  Has it always been purple?

  Chandler : [to the twin babies]  Look around you guys. This was your first home, and it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter; but more important, because of rent control it was a friggin' steal!

• Monica : [Monica and Chandler each holding one of the twin babies]  Do you think they recognize each from in there?

  Chandler : Maybe, unless their like two people who lived in apartments next to each other for years and one day were pushed through a vagina and then they meet.

  Erica : [to Monica and Chandler]  I'm really glad I picked you guys you're going to make great parents, even Chandler.

• Monica : [Monica enters carrying one of the babies]  Hey.

  Chandler : [Chandler enters carrying the other baby]  Hey.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Awkward question: the hospital knows you took two right?

  Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan : What kind of twins are they?

  Monica : [Referring to the baby she's carrying]  This one's a boy the baby Chandler's carrying is a girl.

  Chandler : Her name is Erica.

  Joey Tribbiani : That pregnant girl's name is Erica.

  Chandler : It's a shame the two of you didn't get to spend more together.

  Monica : [to Ross]  We named the boy "Jack" after dad.

  Dr. Ross Geller : His going to be so happy.

• Monica : [Erica In labor]  Just a little bit more, honey.

  Erica : Help me, ah, this hurts!

  Chandler : Really? That bad?

  Erica : Uh-huh. I think it's time to kick you in the nuts to see which is worse.

  The Doctor : The baby's head is crowning.

  Monica : Oh my god! This is the most beautiful top of the head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!

  Chandler : I'm ok.

  Monica : Chandler, you don't want to miss this, this is the birth of your child it's the "miracle of life".

  Chandler : All right!

  [Surprised] 

  Chandler : Wow that is one disgusting miracle.

  The Doctor : Start pushing, here we go.

  [Erica screams] 

  The Doctor : Here come the shoulders.

  Monica : [baby is born]  It's a boy!

  Erica : Is he ok?

  The Doctor : He's just fine.

  Monica : Aww, you did it!

  Chandler : [Squeaky voice]  It's a baby, a beautiful little baby. And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.

  The Doctor : [to Monica and Chandler]  Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?

  Chandler : Well, that's spongy!

  Monica : Hey, handsome! I'm going to love you so much that no woman is ever going to be good enough for you.