- Tim Taylor: [to Jill] What are you still doing up? It's 2:00.
- Jill Taylor: Willow's still not back. What are you doing up?
- Tim Taylor: That Moroccan food was a bit spicy. That Marrakech Express has been running all night.
- Tim Taylor: Where do we keep the barium?
- Jill Taylor: Tim, put a cork in it.
- Tim Taylor: Well, there's an idea. Where do we keep the corks?
- Willow Wilson: Well, I am off.
- Jill Taylor: Where are you going?
- Willow Wilson: Out to breakfast.
- Jill Taylor: You sure it's safe to go out at this hour?
- Willow Wilson: Yeah, well, I appreciate your concern, Jill, but I'll be fine. I'm not a kid.
- Jill Taylor: It's not a matter of how old you are. I wouldn't go out this late.
- Willow Wilson: Well, you also wouldn't get a bunch of men to take off their pants.
- Jill Taylor: Not now, but when I retire, I'll need a hobby.
- Jill Taylor: Well, it's almost noon and Willow's not back. This is getting serious.
- Tim Taylor: You're right. That Healey's gonna need some oil.
- Jill Taylor: Oh, God. Wilson asked us to look after Willow. After one night, she's missing.
- Randy Taylor: Wait, you lost Wilson's niece?
- Jill Taylor: We didn't lose her. We just don't know where to find her. Oh, my God. We've lost Wilson's niece.
- Jill Taylor: Okay, you guys think you have any idea where Willow is?
- Brad Taylor: Maybe she's at a friend's house.
- Randy Taylor: Could be working.
- Mark Taylor: Maybe she fell in a big hole and can't get out.
- [everyone looks at him]
- Mark Taylor: What? It could happen.
- Jill Taylor: [to Tim] Hi. Did you find out anything?
- Tim Taylor: I found that even though the Healey's an English car, I still miss it.
- Jill Taylor: No. Did you find anything out about Willow?
- Tim Taylor: Yes. I stopped by Just Herbs. It seems Willow has a thing for ginkgo biloba. According to her psychic, Janice, in a past life, Willow was Vincent Van Gogh.
- Jill Taylor: In other words, you found out nothing.
- Tim Taylor: No. I found out in a past life, I was Mary, Queen of Scots.
- Jill Taylor: Let's think. Assuming that Willow is okay, what would motivate her to stay out all night and not call? She wants attention, she's acting out. All of this is just a cry for help.
- Tim Taylor: Maybe there's another explanation. She's really inconsiderate.
- Tim Taylor: [about Willow] She takes the car all night and doesn't bother calling. What's that about?
- Mark Taylor: I'm sticking with the big-hole theory.
- Jill Taylor: We haven't checked the clubs.
- Mark Taylor: We're going clubbing? All right!
- Jill Taylor: You can't go to the clubs. You're not old enough.
- Mark Taylor: Well, what am I supposed to do?
- Tim Taylor: Find a big hole and wait till you're 21.
- Tim Taylor: [to the bouncer] Apparently, you don't know who I am. I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
- Lance: And I'm Lance "I Hate Your Show" Smith.
- Jill Taylor: [to Willow] I've been looking all over town for you.
- Willow Wilson: Why?
- Jill Taylor: Because you didn't come home and Dirk said you didn't meet him.
- Willow Wilson: Oh, yeah. Well, on the way, I met some people and we got to talking and the next thing I knew, I was bowling with drag queens.
- Jill Taylor: Willow, why didn't you call?
- Willow Wilson: I didn't know you liked to bowl.
- Willow Wilson: I'm not a phone person. You gotta find change and dial all those numbers...
- Jill Taylor: Do you act like this when you're at Wilson's?
- Willow Wilson: What's wrong with how I'm acting?
- Jill Taylor: You're not being considerate. You're not taking responsibility for your actions. You're 26 years old, Willow. It's time to grow up.
- Willow Wilson: [to Jill] Hey, lighten up. You're not my mother.
- Jill Taylor: I know. I know. Look, I'm talking to you as your friend. Remember you said you wanted to move to be around people who cared about you? Well, we care about you. So if you disappear or don't check in, that affects people.
- Willow Wilson: I'm sorry. I mean, I know Uncle Wilson's a worrier. I didn't realize that you guys would be worried, too.
- Jill Taylor: Wilson is like family to us. That makes you family.
- Willow Wilson: Wow. That means a lot to me. I mean, I've never really had a family. At least not one who cared enough to go out looking for me.