- Al Bundy: Wait a second, Peg. Remember, the kids are here. Now, if you wanna have sex, they'll have to leave. And if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave.
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, Al, nobody wants to peep me. Hold me.
- Al Bundy: Well, nobody wants to hold you, either.
- Kelly Bundy: Hey, maybe what I need is a smart little feeb with no social life to tutor me. Bud, would you help me pass?
- Bud Bundy: I'll give it a shot, but I might have more luck teaching Buck how to sing and dance. What subjects do you need help in?
- Kelly Bundy: I don't know. What classes am I taking?
- Al Bundy: [about the peeper not coming] Well, Peg, maybe it's just 'cause we're up here on the second floor and all and it's hard to get up here to look.
- Peggy Bundy: That's no excuse. I left a ladder and milk and cookies on the ledge.
- Peggy Bundy: Al, tell me the truth. I'm losing my looks, aren't I?
- Al Bundy: No!
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, you're just saying that because you know that's what I want to hear. Now, tell me the truth. Am I losing my looks?
- Al Bundy: Yes.
- Peggy Bundy: You pig! You know I'm down. The least you could do is lie.
- Marcy Rhoades: We've got ourselves a serial peeper.
- Fanny: He peeped me last night!
- [the women gasps]
- Peggy Bundy: He peeped you?
- Fanny: Yes. It was horrible.
- Al Bundy: And how was it for you?
- Steve Rhoades: Al, please. The fat and unattractive have rights, too.
- Fifi: So do the beautiful. I was peeped, too.
- Al Bundy: The beast! C-Could you show us what he saw?
- Marcy Rhoades: Steve, I was peeped. It was awful. He saw me in all my nakedness.
- Steve Rhoades: Uh, what did he see, honey? Did, uh... Did he see your jimmies?
- Marcy Rhoades: He saw it all, Steve.
- Al Bundy: Uh, Marcy, did they find this guy passed out in the bushes, still twitching from fear? 'Cause, I mean, just the thought of it gives me the heebie-jeebies.
- Marcy Rhoades: [about the peeper] This swine must be stopped!
- Women: Yes! Right!
- Marcy Rhoades: And we are just the babes to do it.
- Women: That's right!
- Lois: Yeah, no man looks at me and lives.
- Al Bundy: You said a mouthful.
- Marsha: All right, then. Are we all together on the slow and brutal death of this man?
- Women: Oh, yes!
- Marsha: What about you, Peggy?
- Peggy Bundy: Well, sure. He... He must be st... He peeped you, too? Is there anyone this guy hasn't peeped?
- Marcy Rhoades: Just you and Old Lady McGinty.
- Mrs. McGinty: Something must be done!
- [enters the house]
- Mrs. McGinty: I've just been peeped!
- Steve Rhoades: Al, I got a problem. This Peeping Tom thing is ruining my marriage. Marcy's so upset, she hasn't let me have sex with her for five days.
- Al Bundy: Well, it could be worse. I've had sex with mine for five straight days. Only way I get through it is to put a little TV on the pillow next to her so I can watch Get Smart.
- Peggy Bundy: [from upstairs] Peeper's not coming. Oh, God. I need a man. Let me see. Oh, well. Al!
- [a desperate Al looks at Steve]
- Steve Rhoades: Ah, take it easy, Al. Once Peggy gets peeped, things will be back to normal. Whatever that may be around this house.