Married... with Children (TV Series)

No Pot to Pease In (1994)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Al : Welcome, family, to the first annual Bundy financial crisis summit meeting.

  [has zero audience] 

  Peggy Bundy : [on phone]  Ah, hello, Shop At Home Network? Yes, I'd like to order your Brazilian amethyst dinner ring. And, uh, can I get a dinner to go with that?

  Al : While I have your attention, let's go over some of last month's bills! I'm sure we'll find a little *fat* here in our budget.

  [picks up bill from huge carton box] 

  Al : Renewal notice for... Big 'Uns.

  [Peggy looks at him amused, and he quickly hides it] 

  Al : Now let's start over here. Ah-hah! The Larry Storch School of Acting.

  Peggy Bundy : Al... becoming an actress is very important to Kelly. And you will *not* break her heart by telling her she can't do it.

  Al : All right, Peg, in that case, you get a job to help pay for it.

  Peggy Bundy : Poor Kelly.

  Al : By the way, Peg, you can do your part by cutting down this shopping network too.

  Peggy Bundy : I don't shop that much.

  Kelly Bundy : [enters]  Hey, Mom, the stuff you ordered is here.

  [a truckload of boxes outside, a huge truckload] 

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, goody! Ah...

  [off to go have a look] 

  Kelly Bundy : Hey, Daddy, guess what happened? I am up for a role in a sitcom. It's called Peas in a Pod, and it's about this family named the Peases. And they live in this house and their lives and what goes on in their house and their lives.

  Al : [smiles]  Fox?

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah! How did you know?

  Peggy Bundy : [behind them]  Oh, joy! My Boxcar Willie tapes are here! And my tiara!

  [chuckles] 

  Peggy Bundy : I tell ya, it is just like Christmas, except with presents.

  [chuckles some more] 

  Bud Bundy : [curious]  What have you got...

  Peggy Bundy : Mommy's stuff. Get outa here!

  Kelly Bundy : [to Al]  Anyway, I'm up for the role of the daughter. How's this for cosmic irony? In real life, I actually am one! What are the odds?

  [chuckles] 

  Al : Indeed. But, pumpkin...

  Kelly Bundy : Daddy, I have to get this part. I am perfect for it. Look!

  [shows Al the script] 

  Kelly Bundy : Blonde.

  [chuckles] 

  Kelly Bundy : Perky. Lit...

  [can't pronounce word, shows Bud the script] 

  Bud Bundy : Literate.

  Kelly Bundy : [real chuffed with herself]  And that's the skills I learned at Larry Storch's. And I'm a shoo-in. Hey, Bud, try-out for this is tomorrow. Come help me rehearse my lines.

  [jumps up from couch] 

  Bud Bundy : What's in it for me?

  Kelly Bundy : I'll let you touch a picture of my friend Cindy.

  Bud Bundy : Where?

  [Kelly whispers in his ear] 

  Bud Bundy : Ohh!

  [follows eagerly] 

  Al : Well, let's see, I have an unemployed actress for a daughter... A son who'd have sex with a fire hydrant...

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, happy day! My TV Guide cover collector plates are here!

  Al : [gesturing at Peg]  That! Gee, I wonder where the next bolt of lightning will strike?

  Buck : [family dog]  I guess this isn't a good time to tell him I haven't been comfortable with my sexuality lately.