Married... with Children (TV Series)

Take My Wife, Please (1993)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bud Bundy : Hey Mom, you've got to see this. They hog-tied the Cowboy. They handcuffed the Policeman. And they glue-gunned the Construction Worker to the Indian!

  Peggy Bundy : Well, what about the other two?

  [the Sailor and Leatherman run in covered in toilet paper] 

  Sailor, Village Person : They're T.P.ing us!

  Leatherman, Village Person : They don't normally do this until we sing 'Feeling'.

• Marcy D'Arcy : I'm giving next door a charity benefit for this group of women who have murdered their own husbands just to watch them die. And I've invited over a famous group over, the Village People. They were huge. They sold millions. They just called collect to say they're delayed and may not make it. So, as a favor for me, I'd like all of you to come over to the party...

  Bud Bundy : [to Kelly]  I thought she was going to ask us to dress up as the Village People and entertain.

  Marcy D'Arcy : And dress up as the Village People and entertain.

  Kelly Bundy : That's insane.

  Peggy Bundy : We couldn't possibly pull that off.

  Bud Bundy : Yeah, now what kind of idiot would set himself up for a suicide mission like that?

  [Jefferson enters wearng skin-tight black leather as the Leatherman] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : I don't know about this, Marcy. Are you sure the Leatherman wears pants this tight? The cow these came from couldn't walk in this leather.

  Marcy D'Arcy : Jefferson, there are women at our house who have killed their own husbands just for saying "where's my bacon?" Now, do you want to be the one to tell them that there's no Village People?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [terrified]  No.

  Marcy D'Arcy : Now, go oil your pecs and get macho.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : I'll oil my pecs, but no way I'm getting macho. I've got my dignity.