Married... with Children (TV Series)

You Better Watch Out (1987)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Coroner : Well, that about wraps it up out there. I just have a few routine questions for my report if you don't mind. Did any of you know the diseased?

  Peggy : Well, I read about him in books. But in books, he's usually going up instead of down.

  Coroner : Okay, so that's a "no." Did anyone actually see him fall and hit the ground?

  Bud : I wish.

• Marcy : [after a sky-diving department store Santa splattered all over the Bundys' back yard, while Steve and Marcy were over, the coroners are clearing up outside; inside, Steve is pouring a large drink, while Marcy is babbling, and both are shaking]  Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...

  [Al, Peg, Kelly and Bud are all eating pizza] 

  Al : Hey Peg, you know what we ought to do tomorrow? We oughta make some Christmas cookies.

  Peggy : Oh yeah, and maybe some eggnog, with nutmeg.

  Bud : Mmm!

  Steve Rhoades : You ghouls! Don't you understand, there's a splattered Santa all over your yard!

  Al : What do you want me to do Steve? Quit eating?

• Al : Well, they're gone. All dead guys and non-relatives out.

  Bud : So long, Kel.

  Kelly : Yeah, like they really intended to have you.

  Peggy : Now kids, we wanted both of you. It was your father I didn't plan on.

• Kelly : Dad, why don't we get Bud one of those scratching posts to rub against? You know, it'll save the furniture.

  Bud : You really wanna save the furniture, Kel? Why don't you stop putting notches on your bed posts?

  Al : Now Bud, apologize to your sister.

  Bud : No.

  Al : Okay.

• Peggy : Thank your father, Kids.

  Bud , Kelly : [sourly]  Thanks, Dad.

• Al : Aren't you forgetting something, coolest Dad in the world?

  Bud : Best Dad in the universe.

  Peggy : You who makes my life worth living.

  Al : You all want your Christmas presents, don't ya?

  Peggy : [sarcastic]  No, we really love you.

• Bud : Dad, can we go to that new Lakeside Mall?

  Al : No we can't and I'll tell you why. That mall is killing your father.

  Bud : Oh, I thought Mom was doing that.

• Al : Peg, I'm ashamed of you.

  Peggy : I know.

  Al : Peg! If you keep shopping at that new mall, we'll be broke and living in a cardboard box under the 'L'!

  Peggy : Not me. I can always divorce you and remarry.

  Bud : And me and Kelly will be living in a foster home.

  Kelly : Let's go shopping. Put Dad in a early grave!

  Al : Uh, family before you go, would you get old Daddy's shotgun and stand close together?

• Bud : Dad, where are our Christmas presents?

  Kelly : He probably has them in the car, don't you?

  Al : Well, no. Remember when I said that when we didn't have much that we could always look at the poor people less fortunate then us and feel better? Well... let's find a mirror.