- Melvin Vandersnoot: Isn't it the height of conformity for both of you to play the same instrument?
- Mike: Well, no...
- Peter: No, we don't, man!
- Mike: Yeah, that's a bass!
- Peter: Yeah, it's different!
- Melvin Vandersnoot: Well, personally I don't see how different it could be!
- Mike: This isn't working out, you know.
- Peter: I'd expected more from you, Michael. Even I could have said that.
- Mike: [struggling to get through the door] Hello, were the band... we're the band that Mr. Vandersnoot hired for the party. That's who we are.
- William The Butler: Oh, there must be some mistake. We were expecting four gentlemen.
- Mike: Uhm, would you accept four ladies that shave?
- Melvin Vandersnoot: I'm staying with you.
- Mike: You are?
- Melvin Vandersnoot: Please take my hand. It gives my aunt a feeling of security.
- Melvin Vandersnoot: Bah, humbug!
- Mike: What did you say?
- Melvin Vandersnoot: I said bah, humbug!
- Mike: I think you need some lessons on Christmas.
- Peter: Boy, this kid needs some lessons in Christmas.
- Davy: You're telling me!
- Davy: [Mickey and Davy are up on the roof dressed as Father Christmas and his teeny tiny helper] Ok Micky, Micky, down you go.
- Micky: Why don't you go down first? You're my helper.
- Davy: No, listen, the kid can't see me first, he's gotta see you, you're Father Christmas.
- Micky: Why don't you go down half way, tell me what it's like, come back here and tell me.
- Micky: How come I'm all clean and you're all dirty?
- Davy: Don't you mean how come you're all dirty and I'm all clean?
- Micky: Yeah!
- Davy: Well, you see, you're always on about me, being little teeny tiny weeny little David, you see...
- Micky: Hey, hey.
- Davy: So I figured, I'd come down the middle of the chimney and avoid the sides, you see.
- Micky: Oh, right!
- [blows a handful of soot in Davy's face]
- Davy: That's charming.