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"Mork & Mindy" Pilot (TV Episode 1978) Poster

(TV Series)

(1978)

Quotes

Showing all 11 items

Orson: Mork.

Mork: Good morning, Orson.

Orson: Orson? You call me Orson to my face, but behind my back you call me "fatso," "rocketship thighs," and "star tush."

Mork: You forgot "laser breath," ah ah! Sorry, your immenseness.

Orson: See what I mean? These constant displays of humor are not acceptable behavior here on Ork.

Mork: You're right. We are a rather dull lot; the white bread of the universe.

Orson: Emotions have been weeded out of us for the good of the race. And you constantly make jokes. I'm afraid that won't do.

Mork: Uh-oh.

Orson: There's an insignificant planet on the far side of the galaxy. From the fragmentary reports we have on it, the people are, well, uh...

Mork: Real nimnose?

Orson: Exactly. That is why I think you'll fit in there, Mork.

Mork: You're too kind, sir. What's the name of this hellhole you're sending me to?

Orson: Earth.

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Mindy McConnell: Stop! It's too early in the morning for dueling Beethoven.

Cora Hudson: It's the only music I can challenge him with, dear. He won't play anything by Alice Cooper.

Fred McConnell: That's because I play piano. Alice Cooper just beats on the keys with a dead snake.

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Mindy McConnell: Mork, can you take a little constructive criticism?

Mork: Of course.

Mindy McConnell: It's not nice to sit on your face.

Mork: Then why did God put it there?

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Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: A kiss - very affectionate, you understand. You got a boy, and you got a girl. And they put their lips together, you see, and they kinda slide 'em around. And it feels grrreat!

Mork: Sliding lips sounds unappealing.

Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

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Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: He needs a LOT of work. Good thing he didn't land at Potsie's house.

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Fred McConnell: A toast, a toast, a toast to the old days when values were values and morals were morals. I remember when sharing a pad meant borrowing a notebook.

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Mindy McConnell: Mork is innocent! True, he is different from most, but this great country was built on the right of individuals to be individuals. We have the God-given right to be eccentric, and therefore I demand Mork be exonerated and set free!

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Prosecuting Attorney: Dr. Litney, if we may continue, what was your conclusion after examining the defendant?

Dr. Litney: Your honor, my conclusions are the patient is extremely childlike and incapable of learning. He has also exhibited marked antisocial behavior; therefore it is my opinion that the defendant is incompetent to function in society.

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[last lines]

Mork: Orson, this may sound strange, but knowing that someone would do that for me, well, it makes me feel really good inside.

Orson: Just remember, Mork, you're sent there to observe, not to get involved.

Mork: Yes, your immenseness. This is Mork signing off from Boulder, Colorado. Until next week, nanoo nanoo!

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Mork: [throwing an egg into the air] Fly, be free!

[the egg lands on the counter with a splat]

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Mork: [to the egg spaceship that delivered his luggage; after dropping a intergalatic tip into the ship] Keep the change.

[the spaceship bleeps in thanks]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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