Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Frogger (1998)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Elaine Benes

Quotes 

• J. Peterman : All right, brace yourself, Lubeck. You are about to be launched via pastry back to the wedding of one of the most dashing and romantic Nazi sympathizers of the entire British Royal family.

  Elaine Benes : I guess I'll just...

  J. Peterman : [interrupts Elaine]  Oh, no Elaine, stay. Lubeck here is the world's foremost appraiser of vintage pastry.

  [Lubeck is inspecting the cake] 

  J. Peterman : All right, Lubeck. How much is she worth?

  Lubeck : I'd say about 219.

  J. Peterman : Ha ha ha ha ha!$219,000! Lubeck, you glorious titwillow. You just made me a profit of $190,000.

  Lubeck : No, $2.19. It's an Entenmann's.

• J. Peterman : Elaine, up until a moment ago, I was convinced that I was on the receiving end of one of the oldest baker's grift in the books - The Entenmann's shim-sham.

  Elaine Benes : Ohh...

  J. Peterman : Until I remembered the videotape surveillance system that I installed to catch other-Walter using my latrine. But it also caught this.

  [Peterman shows Elaine the surveillance footage of her eating the antique cake] 

  Elaine Benes : Mr. Peterman, I, uh...

  J. Peterman : Elaine, I have a question for you. Is the item still... with you?

  Elaine Benes : Um... as far as I know.

  J. Peterman : Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement?

  Elaine Benes : Uh, I guess I hadn't

  J. Peterman : Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.