- Dick Cross: Well, it was here, I tell you, Mr. Briggs.
- Briggs: Well, it's not here now, Mr. Cross.
- Dick Cross: Somebody must have taken it.
- Briggs: [sighs] The thought had occur to me.
- [thinks for a moment]
- Briggs: Eh! Revenue men?
- Dick Cross: Not on a Tuesday.
- Briggs: Ah. But today is Wednesday, Mr. Cross.
- Briggs: [ton Honesty] Now you just keep your tongue between your teeth and no harm will come to you.
- Lieutenant Phillips: Very well, since you wish me to be blunt: where's the rum?
- Jack Vincent: I drank it.
- Lieutenant Phillips: [scoffs] A hogshead?
- Jack Vincent: I was thirsty.
- Lieutenant Phillips: Who are you?
- Honesty Evans: Honesty.
- Lieutenant Phillips: Ah, that'll be a change. Where's the rum?
- Lieutenant Phillips: It's empty.
- [louder]
- Lieutenant Phillips: Empty!
- Stanton: I know it is. There's no need to make a song and dance about it.
- Lieutenant Phillips: [even louder] Empty!
- Lieutenant Phillips: I am arresting all three of you.
- Jack Vincent: On what charge? Loitering near an empty barrel?
- Lieutenant Phillips: This hogshead comes from the HMS Pandora.
- Jack Vincent: How do you know?
- Lieutenant Phillips: It stinks of rum!
- Jack Vincent: So do a lot of barrels.