"The Simpsons" Itchy & Scratchy Land (TV Episode 1994) Poster

(TV Series)


Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson


  • [at Itchy & Scratchy Land] 

    Park Announcer : Attention, Marge Simpson. Your son has been arrested.

    Woman : I'd be terribly embarrassed if I was that boy's mother.

    Marge : Mmmmm...

    Park Announcer : Attention, Marge Simpson. We've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.

    Marge : Mmmmmmm...

  • Homer : Wow, it *is* the seventies, right down to the smallest detail.

    Marge : Hey, the bartender even looks like John Travolta.

    John Travolta : Yeah, *looks* like...

  • Marge : I have nothing to say to you.

    Homer : But Marge, I was a political prisoner.

    Marge : How were you a political prisoner?

    Homer : I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram?

  • Park Manager : There's no need to murmur, ma'am. Here at Itchy and Scratchy Land, we're just as concerned with violence as you are. That's why we're always careful to show the consequences of deadly mayhem, so that we may educate as well as horrify.

    Marge : When do you show the consequences? On TV, that mouse pulled out that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next scene, the cat was breathing comfortably.

    Park Manager : Just like in real life.

  • Homer : Okay, let's make a pact. This is gonna be the best vacation ever or we're all agreed to disband and join other families.

    Marge , Bart , Lisa Simpson : Agreed.

  • Bart : Mom, guess what!

    Lisa Simpson : We're going to Itchy & Scratchy Land!

    Marge : No. I've already planned our vacation for this year. We're going to the Highway 9 Bird Sanctuary. I understand they've installed a new bird feeder this year.

    [Bart and Lisa stare, horrified] 

    Marge : It's shaped like a diner! And it's on this really tall pole.

  • Bart : Smash-shy, smash-shy!

    Marge : Um, I don't approve of that.

  • Marge : It must be wonderful to have new years over and over again.

    Marge : Please kill me.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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