Californication (TV Series)

Pilot (2007)

Michele Nordin: Nun, Heather

Quotes 

• Hank Moody : I was just trying to have a little chat with your husband up there.

  Nun : Is there something I can help you with?

  Hank Moody : Oh no, I don't want to bother a real live person about it.

• [first lines] 

  Hank Moody : [to Jesus]  Hey, big guy, you and me. We've never done this before but desperate times call for desperate measures. My name is Hank.

  Nun : Hello, Hank.

• Nun : Well, normally I would suggest a bunch of Our Fathers or a couple of Hail Marys, but I don't think that's going to get it done. What about a blowjob?

  Hank Moody : Hm?

  Nun : A blowjob. Would that make you feel any better?

  Hank Moody : A blowjob from you?

  Nun : Well, something tells me it's not going to suck itself, Hank.