RocknRolla (2008)

Gerard Butler: One Two

Photos 

Quotes 

• Handsome Bob : Five years, you know, I don't know if I can handle it...

  One Two : I don't know what I was thinking, Bob. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a poof or being a gay, or whatever it is you call it, I don't know. I mean, there's gonna be plenty of your lot in there. You'll probably love it.

  Handsome Bob : Oh, God...

  [pause] 

  One Two : What... what exactly is it that you... that you want to do to me, then, Bob?

• One Two : Come on, Bobby boy, cheer up.

  Handsome Bob : What have I got to cheer up about? I'll be locked up in an 8-by-10 tomorrow night.

  One Two : Bob, that's tomorrow night, okay? So tonight is take-off time. And we have got a party planned for you, my man! We got a couple of grams of "hurry up" and four "Jack the Rippers". We've got the Harris twins, probably the most expensive escort girls ever to have escorted; got the night off from the Russians and they have been greased down just for the Bobski!

  [Handsome Bob rubs his eyes] 

  One Two : Okay, well, I see that cheered you up.

  Handsome Bob : It's not that I'm not grateful, it's just...

  One Two : What? It's just what?

  Handsome Bob : You wouldn't understand...

  One Two : Come on, Bobby boy, that's not fair. I'd understand anything coming from you.

  Handsome Bob : Would you?

  One Two : Bob, you're my best mate.

  Handsome Bob : You see, I don't want the strippers, One Two.

  One Two : Okay.

  Handsome Bob : I want you.

  [One Two chuckles, but Handsome Bob remains serious] 

  One Two : Dirty bastard... You dirty bastard!

  [stops the car and gets out] 

• One Two : Hello?

  Stella : It's me.

  One Two : Who?

  Stella : ME.

  One Two : Ahh. Well, what do you want?

  Stella : You.

  One Two : Well, you had better come in then.

• Mumbles : Did he make a pass on you?

  One Two : Yes, he fucking did.

  Mumbles : So, what's the problem? Eh? It was supposed to be his last night. You took care of him. That's what friends do for one another. Well done. And I won't tell the chaps.

• One Two : Let's go get those papers from your boyfriend. And drop me off on the way. I'm going back to bed.

  Handsome Bob : Can I come?

  [One Two slaps him] 

• One Two : Bob, I know all your girlfriends, all of them.

  Handsome Bob : I told you, you wouldn't understand!

  One Two : What, I wouldn't understand that you're a fucking homo? You're Handsome Bob! You're Handsome Bob, the fucking lady-killer, that's who you are! Do you hear me, Bob? I mean, I've had showers with you, man. You've seen my fucking cock!

• One Two : So you don't wanna know what happened?

  Stella : I know what happened. Hollandaise?

  One Two : I see you ordered already.

  Stella : You were late. Shouldn't you have taken precautions?

  One Two : Precautions?

  Stella : Well, that's your job, isn't it? I didn't realize.

  One Two : Realize? Realize that they had guns? Big, long, dangerous machine guns? With war criminals attached to the trigger?

  [cue big getaway sequence by the Wild Bunch] 

  One Two : You know what, darling? I'm just gonna leave this laundry bag here, under the table for you, okey? Goodbye, sweetheart. You're way too dangerous for me.

• One Two : Nice shoes, by the way.

  Stella : Thank you. You will be able to afford a pair of your own in a couple of days.

• Malcolm : Okay, gentlemen, let's go. First, my colleague Paul will be modeling the 'gray wolf.' I must apologize for my assistant's handicaps. He has unusually long arms and an alarmingly small neck. Now while I agree it doesn't seem the right time of year to be acquiring a coat with such thermal efficiency...

  One Two : It is the middle of fucking summer.

  Malcolm : However, Christmas is always around the corner!

• Stella : Drink?

  One Two : Dance?

  Stella : You're a dancer?

  One Two : Am I a dancer? Shall we set the record straight? See, my dad was a dancer, and his dad before him. So, finally, it percolates through the old DNA. You're not joining me?

  Stella : Sure. I like to dance.

• One Two : Abandon ship!

• Mumbles : Who the fuck is Sydney Shaw?

  One Two : No, Sydney Shaw is a pseudonym, you idiot. They never use their real name. Look, get around here and let me have a look, okay?

  Mumbles : All right... Where did he learn a word like pseudonym?

• Archie : [narrates]  Oh, isn't that an unpleasant surprise. Because they don't want to owe Lenny.

  One Two : We can't get the planning.

  Archie : That's right sweetheart...

  Mumbles : We can't get the planning?

  Archie : ...you've been fucked.

• One Two : I've got one just like that at home, but with a little boy fishing.

  Stella : Is that what they call humor where you're from?

  One Two : Is that what they call art where you're from?