Glenn Quagmire: This sucks. I don't want to be here.
Brian Griffin: Come on, Glenn. If I'm gonna be dating your mom, it's important that we spend some time together.
[to the receptionist]
Brian Griffin: Hi, we have two guest passes from a museum member, Ida Davis.
Receptionist: I'm not seeing an "Ida Davis".
Brian Griffin: [with a low voice] Uh, try "Dan Quagmire". "Lieutenant Dan Quagmire".
Receptionist: Ah, the lieutenant. And how's he doing? Still have his penis?
Brian Griffin: No, he doesn't. And that's a weird question to ask.
Brian Griffin: [walking around at the museum] See? It's not so bad. It's like Night at the Museum in here.
Glenn Quagmire: How?
Brian Griffin: Well, you know... like, the guys are gonna come to life.
Glenn Quagmire: Like who?
Brian Griffin: Um, the guys, you know? When it's... when it's nighttime.
Glenn Quagmire: You didn't see the movie, did you?
Brian Griffin: No.
Glenn Quagmire: Why did you bring up a reference to something you know nothing about?
Brian Griffin: I... it just, it reminded me of, uh...
Glenn Quagmire: Brian, don't bring up a reference to someone whose favorite movie it is, because you'll just embarrass yourself. That was a natural history museum, this is a science museum. What, you think this tidal chart's gonna come to life? You think this moon rock is gonna walk across the room and riff brilliantly like Robin Williams playing Teddy Roosevelt, God rest both their souls? Be very, *very* careful treading around Night at the Museum.