- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [about their suspect being found mauled] Thanks to Semper-Fido, he'll never roll over.
- Abby Sciuto: You've been looking for a dog, Timmy.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby, that dog tasted my blood, and I think he *liked* it!
- Abby Sciuto: [to a dog] Who's a good Jethro?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering the room] I'm a good Jethro?
- Abby Sciuto: Don't be mad. Be flattered. He's just so strong and handsome and silent, so I decided to call him Jethro.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [entering their victim's bedroom and seeing Ziva looking under the bed] Room with a view.
- [snaps a photo of Ziva's butt]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey!
- [slaps Tony's head]
- [Abby's playing loud music and has locked herself in her office]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby, open the door!
- Abby Sciuto: I can't hear you, McGee!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: If you can't hear me, why'd you answer?
- Abby Sciuto: How could you shoot an innocent animal, McGee?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby, that dog is not innocent! He killed someone!
- Abby Sciuto: Dogs don't kill people, McGee! *People* kill people!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: People with dogs that kill people, kill people!
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Sometimes things aren't so simple, Abby. Sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality in front of you and accept it.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Why would I give flowers to a dog that attacked me?
- Abby Sciuto: Um, maybe because dog is man's best friend. Or maybe because I'm a forensic scientist and I could boil you from the inside out and never leave a trace.
- Abby Sciuto: I am not opening the door until Jethro is proven innocent!
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby, do not make a scene.
- Abby Sciuto: Too late, McGee! I am in *full* scene mode!
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: You can't stay in there forever.
- Abby Sciuto: I'm fully stocked on both Caf-Pow and kibble. I'm good for at least a few days.
- [Jethro barks, causing McGee to take a step back]
- Abby Sciuto: All right, I know I shouldn't have taken him without authorization. But time was of the essence. And besides, Jethro may have uncovered an important clue!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Or maybe it's another one of his victims and he's confessing.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or maybe it's his lunch.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Only if he's a cannibal, Jethro.
- [the dog barks]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [to the dog] I wasn't talking to you.
- Jimmy Palmer: [looking at an x-ray of Jethro] In the stomach, right there.
- Abby Sciuto: What is that?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Something that doesn't belong. Prepare to sedate, Mr. Palmer, you'll find everything you need in my bag.
- Jimmy Palmer: Right away, Doctor.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: We're going to have to operate.
- Abby Sciuto: Is he going to be okay?
- Jimmy Palmer: The inside of a dog's stomach is like a sewer. The survival rates are not good.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Well then, both of our expertise will be challenged today.
- Abby Sciuto: Ducky, you know what you're doing, right?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Well, the fact that he's breathing does put me somewhat out of my element, but we don't have a choice, do we?
- Lt. Matthew Sanchez: This is *bullcrap*... Sir.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: If by "bullcrap" you mean your worst freaking nightmare, then yeah this is bullcrap!
- Marine Guard: [Abby pulls up to the gate with a dog beside her] Can I help you?
- Abby Sciuto: I'm looking for fleas.
- Marine Guard: Fleas?
- Abby Sciuto: Who would shoot this cute little dog?
- [she starts petting the dog, while McGee gropes for a response]
- Abby Sciuto: Look at you...
- [realizing, she straightens up, spins around and skewers McGee with a glare]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: It-it was self-defense. It was self-defense!
- Abby Sciuto: You *shot* that cute little dog?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: He's not cute and little! He's-he's vicious, and large!
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: From his point of view, both the cocaine and the trafficker were found. Problem solved.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Is that your point of view?
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: I can... sympathize with the commander's point of view.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, you sympathize, I'll keep investigating!
- Petty Officer Erica Perelli: [examining McGee's wounds] Looks like he bit you pretty bad.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I've been bitten harder... by dogs. I love dogs. I'm a dog person, really.
- Petty Officer Erica Perelli: What kind of dog do you have?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I don't yet. But I might. WILL soon. Very soon. I just need to find the right girl - dog. Girl dog. I want a girl dog. I do like boys though.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering] Don't ask, don't tell, McGee.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [in the belly of a cargo plane] What, you want me to dust the whole plane?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, just the flat surfaces where you can lift the prints... yeah! The whole plane!
- [about ten minutes later]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: McGee!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: We're going back?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Whoa, boss! Two people, one mother ship? This'll take all night!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hope you brought a warm coat, DiNozzo!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [hands Tony the fingerprint kit] Just the flat surfaces where you can lift the prints, Tony.