Sorority Row (2009)

Leah Pipes: Jessica

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jessica : Ellie, no one is dead! Well, Megan.

• Mrs. Crenshaw : I saw what you did.

  Jessica : We didn't mean to kill Megan.

  Mrs. Crenshaw : Kill Megan? I was talking about trashing my house.

• Cassidy : [while returning to the party]  Where is everybody?

  Claire : Probably dead.

  Jessica : Yeah, and the corpses drove their cars home, idiot!

• Jessica : [to Maggie, sarcastically]  Oh, no! Don't go out there!

  [Cassidy shoots a dirty look] 

  Jessica : ... what? I tried to warn her.

• Jessica : [after finding Megan's corpse in the shower]  Oh, she looks terrible.

• Mrs. Crenshaw : [points shotgun at Jessica]  Talk.

  Cassidy : Okay, listen, it was an accident and we'll explain everything later but right now, Clair is dead, Mickey's dead, Chugs is dead, and we don't know if Megan's alive or not.

  Maggie : Wait, so Megan's not dead?

  Jessica : We don't know! We need to get the hell out of here.

  Mrs. Crenshaw : Who else is here?

  Jessica : Kyle.

  Mrs. Crenshaw : Is he in on this thing?

  Jessica : [unconvincingly]  No.

  Mrs. Crenshaw : [cocks gun, points it back to her]  Lie to me again.

  Jessica : Okay, I told Kyle about Megan.

  Cassidy : Of course you did! What's with this ''sisters for life'' crap, huh? Was I the only one that didn't tell anybody?

  Mrs. Crenshaw : Where is Kyle?

  Maggie : Don't look at me! He left as soon as he heard you coming.

  Mrs. Crenshaw : Well, he, she or it is about to get two rounds to the face. You girls wait in Jessica's room. And call the police.

  Jessica : Well, who knew Mrs. Crenshaw was such a badass?

• Jessica : Okay, we cannot let Ellie see this text.

  [Ellie screams from upstairs] 

  Jessica : Shit! Too late.

• Jessica : It's Mickey... I would know those ugly ass shoes anywhere.

  Cassidy : Is he dead?

  Jessica : Well, he has a fucking tire iron through his head... Do you think it's the same one that killed Megan?

  Cassidy : You make it sound like the tire iron killed Megan by itself.

  Jessica : Thank you for the grammar lesson. I'm just sayin' it looks a little... updated, doesn't it? Like someone... pimped it out.

• Jessica : I'm gonna deal with you later!

  Maggie : You might wanna deal with that hair first, because it looks like shit.

• Jessica : Ugh, This is so stupid. We are missing out on the part of the year.

  Cassidy : I know, how inconvinent. Why couldn't Ellie have had a nervous breakdown tomorrow?

  Jessica : You know Cassidy, your sarcasm makes you sound like a bitch. And nobody likes a bitch.

• Ellie : Megan's alive, you guys.

  Jessica : Ellie, you're being borderline retarded right now.

• [Jessica is performing mouth-to-mouth CPR on an unresponsive Megan] 

  Chugs : That is so hot.

  Ellie : Chugs!

  [Megan suddenly grabs Jessica by the back of her neck and presses her closer, then Jessica pulls away] 

  Megan : What, no tougne?

  Jessica : Easy there, Lezzie Lohan. This is make believe, remember?

• Cassidy : I love you, Jessica, because you make being a bitch an art form.

  Jessica : [irritated]  Hear, hear.

• Jessica : Please God don't let me get killed. Please God don't let me get killed.

  Cassidy : Stop giving Him ideas.

• Jessica : Oh, shit. Who set the house on fire?

• Jessica : Cassidy, my room. Theta toast. Now.

  Cassidy : You seen Andy?

  Jessica : Hoes before bros.

• Jessica : Friend me on Facebook, I'll totally confirm.

• Jessica : Claire, I like being your friend because... it makes me multicultural without having to do anything.

• Jessica : [after running over Garrett with her van]  Well, at least we won't be getting anymore of those text messages.

• Jessica : [Impatiently]  What?

  Claire : I keep thinking about that text.

  Jessica : [sighs]  Claire! Garrett is a little bitch. He says we made him kill Megan? As if. Seriously, Clair, grow a pair.

  Claire : Jessica, I've always had your back.

  Jessica : But you've never had a backbone.

• Jessica : [talking about the pills that Megan swallowed to play the prank]  Too bad it doesn't prevent bulimia, that's something Megan could actually use!

• Ellie : I don't see a way out of this.

  Jessica : Well, maybe there is.