Cop Out (2010)

Tracy Morgan: Paul

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Paul Hodges : [screaming random movie lines to get a suspect to talk]  Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!

  Jimmy Monroe : I've never seen that movie before.

• Dave : Knock Knock.

  Paul Hodges : Don't do it Jim.

  Dave : Do it.

  Paul Hodges : If you respect our partnership Jim don't do it.

  Dave : Do it.

  Jimmy Monroe : Who's there?

  Dave : Orange.

  Paul Hodges : No. No. Huh Huh. No. No! No! No! Hell No! NO! NO! I refuse to... No! No! Alright Orange who damn it?

  Dave : Orange you pissed that your wife is taking it in the ass from another guy right now?

• Jimmy Monroe : This guy's the biggest car thief in Brooklyn, let's be careful

  Tommy : [Rolls down the car window, looks up at Paul and Jimmy]  You just scratched my ride.

  Paul Hodges : What the hell are you doin', Tommy?

  Tommy : I'm drivin', bitch.

  Paul Hodges : Get out o' the car!

  Tommy : Is it I'm black?

  Paul Hodges : No! Cause you're TEN!

  Tommy : Eleven!

  Paul Hodges : Get out o' the car!

  Tommy : I was wearin' my seatbelt!

  Paul Hodges : Get out o' the car, you little re-peat offender!

  Tommy : Fuck!

• Tommy : What?

  Paul Hodges : You know, I'm gonna smack the black off you!

  Tommy : You can't do anything to me

  Paul Hodges : Talk! About the stolen Mercedes-Benz!

  Tommy : I'm not tellin' you nothin'

  Paul Hodges : No, you gonna tell me somethin' or I'm gonna...

  [Tommy kicks Paul in the balls] 

  Jimmy Monroe : I told ya be careful!

  [Paul punches Tommy] 

  Jimmy Monroe : Paul, did you just punch a little child?

  Paul Hodges : There's things you don't know about me, Jim, I'll fuck a little kid up if he kicked me in the dick!

• Paul Hodges : This is the stuff that my mom would tell friends about me, 'My son is genius, my son is a genius'.

• Paul Hodges : Now we need to know about the Mercedez

  [Jimmy looks on with a grin] 

  Paul Hodges : that was stolen a couple o' nights ago, in the back of a Mini-Mart, in Bay Ridge!

  Tommy : I ain't tellin' you shit! You can't DO shit, cause I'm a miiiinor

  Jimmy Monroe : Heh heh heh heh

  Tommy : Fuck you too, Professor-X-looking Mother Fucker!

  Jimmy Monroe : You are an angry young man.

  Tommy : Yo, you're messin' with my business, bitch.

  Paul Hodges : Whose car is this?

  Tommy : Yo Momma's!

• Jimmy Monroe : You ready?

  Paul Hodges : I'm ready.

  [pauses] 

  Paul Hodges : Let's go be great!

  Jimmy Monroe : Do you ever listen to yourself sometimes?

• Paul Hodges : You know, the bonobo chimpanzee is the only non-human primate that has oral sex?

  Jimmy Monroe : Where do you find the time to watch "Animal Planet"? I'm with you 25 hours a day!

  Paul Hodges : [Pointing to head]  I have to feed this. I have to feed this.

  Jimmy Monroe : Well, you're a compendium of fucking useless information.

  Paul Hodges : Well, I don't wanna look at reality TV, cause that's the bowels of Hollywood.

  Jimmy Monroe : [mumbled]  fuckin' Reality TV, fuckin' blows

  Paul Hodges : And I like to see chimpanzees gettin' head.

  Jimmy Monroe : You got a point.

• Paul Hodges : Don't even look at me like that. You're just a bear. Shut the fuck up.

• Paul Hodges : I know what "pellegro" means.

  Jimmy Monroe : What's it mean?

  Paul Hodges : It's Puerto-Rican for "penguin"

• Paul Hodges : Jim, I just got SHOT!

  Jimmy Monroe : Mozel Tov

• Paul Hodges : Fuckin' monocle wearin' mother fucker.

• Paul Hodges : His wife says she's very unhappy. She said he's all foreskin.

• Jimmy Monroe : Ma'am, ma'am.

  Laura : Whats going on?

  Paul Hodges : Somebody just broke into your house.

  Laura : [while pulling out gun]  I'm gonna go take care of the son of a... B, myself.

  Jimmy Monroe : Whoa, whoa, ma'am.

  Kevin : You gonna smoke somebody?

  Paul Hodges : Put the gun down.

  Laura : I know my rights!

  Jimmy Monroe : [while trying not to swear in front of young boy]  Lady, put the f-in' gun, down on the ground right now, take your son across the f-in' street, AND STAY THERE TILL WE COME AND GET YOU! Jesus... C.

• Paul Hodges : OK, how are we going work this?

  Jimmy Monroe : Same way we always do. I interrogate him, you write it down.

  Paul Hodges : Oh so you're making decisions now? I hope the whole 6-9 know that you're making decisions. I'm going to play the bad guy on this one.

  Jimmy Monroe : Doubtful.

  Paul Hodges : Un-doubtful.

  Jimmy Monroe : Highly doubtful and you know why because you don't play the bad guy. You just steal all the bullshit lines you hear on TV and the movies that you like.

• [first lines] 

  Paul Hodges : You know what today represents? Nine Jim. Nine years me and you been together. *Nine* we been main shit stains. I know some dogs that don't even live to be nine. You're lucky if you get seven years out of a Great Dane. But me and you been puttin' it together for nine...

  [whips out a card] 

  Paul Hodges : Happy anniversary Jim.

  Jimmy Monroe : I don't celebrate anniversaries.

  Paul Hodges : Jim, open it up. I wanna see the expression on your face.

  Jimmy Monroe : You wanna see the expression on my face? The expression you're gonna see on my face is "fuck you".

• Paul Hodges : That's called parkour. It's a French martial art to get you around and over stuff.

  Jimmy Monroe : What are you?

• Paul Hodges : Captain, your heart. It's an ice box.

• Paul Hodges : I just wanna get you pregnant, you know? My daughter gonna come out like 11 pounds , twenty ounces, runnin, around the house with the doo doo pampers on!

• Paul Hodges : What's with the box?

  Jimmy Monroe : I gotta sell the Pavco.

  Paul Hodges : I heard that. I know that's right... I'm lying. What's a Pavco?

  Jimmy Monroe : It's a baseball card.

  Paul Hodges : Jimmy, if you need twenty bucks...

  Jimmy Monroe : Asshole, I don't need twenty bucks.

• Paul Hodges : Oh, shit. He's taking a shit in the house.

  Jimmy Monroe : What kind of guy takes a shit in the same house that he's robbing?

  Paul Hodges : I don't know. What kind of guy takes a shit in a high-pressure situation like this? I'm not shitting no where except for my house. I will pitch it in my house for hours before I let it go. But when I let it, here, it goes. Here, she blows. The big brown shark is gonna to come. I set records for my shit turds. I move my bowels all over my toilet. All over my bathroom, I'm moving bowels. I shit so hard sometimes, people next door will be like, "Warriors, come out and play."

• Jimmy Monroe : Get him?

  Paul Hodges : His head is not there. Is it counted?

• Paul Hodges : ohh ahhhhh

  Jimmy Monroe : ooh my card

• Paul Hodges : Did you know they were gonna make a movie about these two starring Kevin Costner and Robert DeNiro? Yeah, it was called 'The Unfuckables'.

  Barry Mangold : I'm not gonna lie to you, I like the idea of Kevin Costner and Robert DeNiro playing us.

  Hunsaker : [Imitating DeNiro]  Yeah, lil bit.

• Paul Hodges : Why did you smack me?

  Jimmy Monroe : I was in the moment and the moment said smack ya.

• Paul Hodges : That's her gay cousin!

• Jimmy Monroe : I been where you are.

  Paul Hodges : Roy?

  [Jimmy nods] 

  Paul Hodges : C'mere, man

  [Paul spreads his arms wide] 

  Paul Hodges : You look like you need a hug.

  Jimmy Monroe : [Steps back]  Whoa. You really read that one wrong.

  Paul Hodges : It's just that I'm vulnerable, man.

  Jimmy Monroe : How long she been in there?

  Paul Hodges : I don't know, does this mean that we're not broken up any more?

  Jimmy Monroe : What are you, in the fifth grade?

• Jimmy Monroe : You beat up a kid?

  Paul Hodges : I needed the bike.

  Captain Romans : You can see it on youtube if you want.

  Paul Hodges : Really? What, *the* youtube?

  Captain Romans : Good job.

  Paul Hodges : Captain, how many hits I get?

  Captain Romans : There's at least two, the Chief of Police and the Deputy Chief.

• Paul Hodges : Let me get some spicy carrots and quacamole.