Goon (2011)

Jay Baruchel: Pat

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rollie Hortense : It's just too bad those are your teammates that you fucked up out there.

  Doug Glatt : Oh, I'm sorry sir.

  Rollie Hortense : Of course, on the bright side, those are your teammates that you fucked up out there. What do you say son, you wanna be an Assassin?

  Doug Glatt : Yes, yes.

  Rollie Hortense : What number you wanna wear?

  Ryan : 69! Take the number 69, It's hilarious!

  Doug Glatt : Is that number taken?

• Ryan : Look at you, you're a - you're a fucking beast. You're like the fucking Hebrew Dolph Lundgren or some shit.

• Ryan : I've never seen Rhea lose his shit like that before. He got suspended for 20 fucking games. Boston sends him down to St. John's. He's 40-years old. That's it! He's fucking done, son. I'll probably feature it on next week's Hot Ice, unless that motherfucker Sully from Worcester calls in again. Last week, he called in pretending that he was from some fucking sweepstakes and he told me that I had won the grand prize of 50 cocks in my mouth. He goes, I have the option of sucking all 50 at once or one a month for 50 fucking months. Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring you down, pal.

  Doug Glatt : Oh, no no no. I don't have a thing, you know? Like, you have your show. My dad and my brother, they have their doctor thing. I don't got a thing. Everybody's got something but me.

  Ryan : Would it help that I want you inside me? That I want you to make lemonade in my chocolate factory? Hey? Fuck this sad shit. Let's just go watch the Assassins kick the shit out of Oshawa. I'll fill your big thick ass full of fucking corn dogs.

• Ryan : Ladies and gentlemen, this is actually fucking happening. Dougie "The Thug" Glatt is about to fucking drop the gloves and take on Ross "The Boss" Rhea. This has all the elements of a fucking sports masterpiece. Holy fuck! We've got the worried lady friend's face frozen with concern. We got the gay brother. Yup! And the loveable, wisecracking best friend. Orangetown, son! Pussy crew, album dropping. Oh fuck, here we go!

• O'Sullivan : Hi there, I was wondering if you like hot dogs.

  Doug Glatt : Yes, I like hot dogs.

  O'Sullivan : Great!

  Doug Glatt : Um, but I prefer corn dogs because you don't need a bun for it. Because the bun is all around it and you can eat it from a stick.

  O'Sullivan : You like hot dogs 'cause you like cocks in your mouth, son!

  Ryan : You motherfucker!

  O'Sullivan : Sully from Worcester, bitches!

  Ryan : Dammit! Fuck you, Gus and Brian! You motherfuckers! You're supposed to screen this shit!

• Ryan : Look, no disrespect intended, but honestly fuck your parents if they don't fucking appreciate you.

• Ryan : [to Eva]  Did you fall off a toilet paper roll? Do you pee rainbows? Do you fart cinnamon?

  Ira : Don't ruin this for Doug, man.

  Ryan : Does a rainbow come out of your nipples?

• Doug Glatt : Hey! What the hell?

  Ryan : Recognize!

  Doug Glatt : Of course I recognize you!

  Ryan : You recognize this big fuckin' beautiful family of yours?

  Doug Glatt : Oh my god, this is amazing, I'm so happy!

  Ronnie Hortense : Glatt! What the fuck are you doing mother fucker? Start skating, chase some ice!

• Xavier LaFlamme : You don't know shit about hockey you fucking bulimic Don Cherry!

  Ryan : You spat in my face!

  Doug Glatt : What the hell?

  Ryan : He started it!

  Doug Glatt : Come on, you're spitting everywhere!

  Xavier LaFlamme : Your friend is fucking sick!

  Ryan : Oh yeah says the fucking Frenchman. You people live like animals!

  Doug Glatt : I hate spit! I hate it!

  Xavier LaFlamme : Fuck you!

• Ryan : Ladies and gentlemen, this is only the first period. I predict that this game becomes an absolute ass-raping that only the likes of fucking Ned Beatty or potentially the cast of "Oz" can comprehend.