Parks and Recreation (TV Series)

Tom's Divorce (2009)

Aziz Ansari: Tom Haverford

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Haverford : Leslie, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but once you go in there, you will see things you cannot unsee.

  Leslie Knope : I'm a feminist, okay? I would never ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality. But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for just to put a smile on your perfect little face. So don't blow this.

  Tom Haverford : Alright.

  Leslie Knope : Okay, lap dances are on me! I mean I'm paying for them. They're not actually gonna be "on" me.

• Leslie Knope : We are going to the Glitter Factory.

  Tom Haverford : What?

  Donna Meagle : Not me. I can't go back there. But if you see Jasmine, tell her she can keep Anthony, but I want my microwave back.

  Leslie Knope : ...Okay, good. You're gonna take April home.

  April Ludgate : No, I wanna go to the Glitter Factory!

  Leslie Knope : Well, drop out of school and start doing meth.