Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
Jesse Eisenberg: Columbus
Photos
Quotes
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Tallahassee : [dressed as Santa Claus] What would you like, little girl? A pony?
Little Rock : No, I'd actually like for you to stop calling me "little girl."
Tallahassee : Well, technically, you are little and you're a girl.
Columbus : [sits in Tallahassee's lap] Well, I am not a little girl, but do you know what I would like?
Tallahassee : [pushes Columbus off of his lap] I don't give a fuck what you like.
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[first lines]
Columbus : Welcome to Zombieland. Back for seconds? After all this time? Well, what can I say, but thank you. You have a lot of choices when it comes to zombie entertainment, and we appreciate you picking us.
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Columbus : Well, the only reason we've survived the last several years is we've gotten to know our bloodthirsty enemies better than we know ourselves. In the time since we last saw you, zombies have evolved, so we've given them different names. This lady here is getting chased by the dumbest Z there is, what we call a Homer. In a world without YouTube, who isn't entertained by a Homer?
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Tallahassee : Rules are for pussies, nothing personal.
Columbus : How could that not be personal? That's like my whole thing.
Tallahassee : Yeah, you're right. It was personal.
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Tallahassee : Now from where I stand, there's only one thing we can do.
Civil War Bearded Guy : Group sex, right? No. Um... we'll fight them.
Tallahassee : You'll be the first to die, but I like your enthusiasm.
Wichita : You might die.
Columbus : Thank you for your sacrifice.
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Columbus : But for better or worse, we were a family. And for the first time since the virus, we were living somewhere truly safe, making every day feel like, well, like Christmas morning.
