- Everyone at the hospital is put out - especially Dr. O'Hara - when Dr. Cooper is listed in a monthly magazine as one of the 25 best doctors in Manhattan. Jackie is less than pleased when Kaitlin shows up on a play date at her house. She's even less pleased when Kaitlin sees her snorting a line. At the hospital, she's almost caught taking drugs out of the dispensary using Zoey's access number. Back at home, she's dumbfounded when she sees who husband Kevin's new friend is.—garykmcd
- During an after-school playdate, Ginny Flynn and Kaitlin annoy Jackie with their prescence, and Kaitlin catches Jackie snorting a line of Adderal. Kevin tells Jackie he doesn't like Dr. O'Hara's offer of money for the girls, for fear of being indebted to her. Dr. Cooper checks up on Eddie at his new job and brags about being listed as one of the Top 25 Doctors in New York Magazine. Jackie's last minute overtime leaves Kevin in the lurch, with both of them working an no one to pick up the kids. She comes home to find the girls playing a board game with Kevin and Eddie.—Showtime Publicity
- Grace and Fiona make cupcakes with a friend. Jackie comes home and is surprised to see Caitlyn is there -- the daughter of a woman Jackie got into it with in tap class.
She finds Kevin paying bills and finally mentions O'Hara's tuition offer. He thinks money will come with strings and that O'Hara's crazy because she lives in a hotel.
Jackie goes down to the basement to snort her pills. Caitlyn sees her, and says Grace worries about a lot of things and probably needs help. She asks what Jackie was doing with the straw. Jackie explains it's a trick nurses use to dry up their tear ducts so they don't come home and cry about all the stuff they see at work. She sells the lie by asking for a hug.
Upstairs Caitlyn's mom Ginny, who used to date Kevin years ago, comes over in a push up bra bearing dinner. Jackie hustles her and Caitlyn out of there after Caitlyn mentions how many times Grace made her wash her hands. After they leave, Jackie dumps the dinner in the garbage.
Cooper visits Eddie at his pharmacy, stocking up on cereal and Ramen noodles. He also shows him that he made a magazine's list of the top 25 doctors in Manhattan. He takes out his phone to Tweet his location to his 240 followers. Eddie asks if Jackie told him about his suicide attempt. He asks about Jackie several more times and Coop tells him about the complaint he lodged against her. Eddie tells him his overdose was accidental and to tell everyone.
Back at the hospital, Jackie tells O'Hara that Kevin wouldn't go for her money offer. Coop drops off his magazine ranking and O'Hara indignantly wonders why she's not in it.
Coop sees to a dog bite victim who was bit while trying to resuscitate a dog at a dog show. Cooper finds that the guy's testicles "migrated" into his body as a natural fight response.
Jackie goes to tell bite guy's wife he'll be OK but she's only concerned about them getting banned from the kennel club. Jackie mentions the migrating testicles, but assures her they'll find them.
Thor notices Zoey is wearing eye shadow but the moment is soon distracted by Mrs A bringing a delivery for Coop from his mothers. It's a framed copy of the doctor ranking. Mrs. A asks how on earth he made the list.
Sam calls him out for hiring a publicist. Coop admits he has one, but doesn't think that had anything to do with it. Zoey shakes his hand.
Zoey tells Jackie about his publicist. She seems impressed Sam knew.
O'Hara bitches about the ranking to a paramedic with a dislocated finger. With a bloody gown on she manhandles the paramedic and brutally snaps her finger back into joint, nearly causing the woman to pass out, as she wonders what rankings know anyway.
Zoey finds Jackie punching in Zoey's pin number to the pill machine. Jackie claims Zoey saw it wrong. She asks if Zoey's wearing perfume as she takes a pack of pills.
Mrs. A asks Jackie to cover half a shift. She sees Coop Twittering and he mentions having seen Eddie that morning.
Jackie does a line in the bathroom, shooing out a woman who's drinking, and calls her husband to meet the girls at home. He can't be there because he has to pick up bar stools. He suggest calling Ginny, but Jackie doesn't want her in their house.
Zoey watches as a urologist and plastic surgeon argue over who gets dog bite man first. Jackie interprets his moans as "do my balls."
Zoey offers the plastic surgeon a guy with second degree facial burns from an exploding cell phone as consolation.
O'Hara passes Zoey in the hall and sees that she's slightly dolled up. She inquires. Zoey confesses a party later and O'Hara advises hair down.
Jackie stops Sam and tells him he should refrain from discussing coworker's personal lives. Doesn't matter that she doesn't like Coop. He realizes she's going to bust on him whenever she can.
Jackie walks through the waiting room and sees the woman who was drinking earlier about to breast feed a baby. She pulls the baby away and chews her out in bad Spanish, handing the baby off to the dad and telling them to use formula.
O'Hara walks by Mrs. A munching on a candy bar, and realizes she's never seen her eat.
"I try to hide my humanity," she says.
Then O'Hara starts complaining about Coop getting written up in a magazine. Mrs. A asks her if she really cares what a bunch of editors who give out stars for street burritos and eyeliner think.
O'Hara just wants Mrs. A to know she's better. Mrs. A says she's in her all-time top 5.
Jackie comes home to find Kevin with their kids and a friend of Kevin's -- Eddie.
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