Glee (TV Series)

The Substitute (2010)

Mark Salling: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Finn Hudson : Dude, what are you doing?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Kurt got us a substitute, so I'm buttering the floor.

• Rachel Berry : Did I hear something about a substitute?

  [she slips on the patch of floor Puck has buttered] 

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Yes! It works!

  Rachel Berry : [standing and composing herself]  Well, at least I didn't fall and break my talent. I'm fine.

• Holly Holliday : Hey, Rachel.

  Rachel Berry : Hello, Ms. Holliday. I'd like you to know that I have a very severe bruise on my right buttock from your game of gangsta rap musical chairs. I'll be going on record with the school nurse later today.

  Holly Holliday : Rachel, you suck. Oh, my god, you're like a total drag. Has anyone ever told you that?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : [passing by]  I have.

  Holly Holliday : Oh, Puckerman, here are the answers to the pop quiz I'll be giving in Spanish class later. It is *so* boring in there.

• Will Schuester : So, I guess this is where I grovel to try to get my job back.

  Sue Sylvester : No groveling necessary, William. I'm returning you to your position. You know, one of the marks of a successful leader is appointing trusted lieutenants, and Ms. Holliday was clearly not up to the job. You irritate me, William. You make the underflaps of my breasts burn, like when I used to rub them with poison sumac. But your kids sure love you, as evinced by the amount of treacly blubbering I had to sit through.

  [cut to a montage of students in Sue's office] 

  Finn Hudson : Mr. Schue's the only teacher at this school who asks you how you're doing and actually wants to hear an answer.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Mr. Schue's the only teacher at this school that ever really touched me. Besides Mr. Ryerson.

  Sam Evans : He taught me how to tie my shoelaces.

  Rachel Berry : I used to think that I was the best thing that happened to this school, but... I was wrong. Mr. Schuester is.

  Brittany S. Pierce : Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after "M" and "N". I felt they were too similar and got frustrated.