Three buddies wake up from a bachelor party in Las Vegas, with no memory of the previous night and the bachelor missing. They make their way around the city in order to find their friend before his wedding.
Dave Skylark and his producer Aaron Rapaport run the celebrity tabloid show "Skylark Tonight". When they land an interview with a surprise fan, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, they are recruited by the CIA to assassinate him.
John makes a Christmas miracle happen by bringing his one and only friend to life, his teddy bear. The two grow up together and John must then choose to stay with his girlfriend or keep his friendship with his crude and extremely inappropriate teddy bear, Ted.Written by
The Jetta's hood is pushed in after it crashes into the Volvo. When the Jetta comes to a stop outside Fenway Park, the hood is fine apart from the license plate hanging loose and some dirt on the grill. See more »
[dressed in a suit and tie]
I look stupid.
No, you don't, you look dapper.
John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
See more »
The opening credits were supposed to start with "Universal Pictures and Media Rights Capital Presents" as shown in the trailers/commercials and the back of the DVD/Blu-Ray covers. But, for unknown reasons, it starts with "Media Rights Capital Presents" and "Universal Pictures Presents" in the actual movie. See more »
The 114-minute "Unrated" version has the following changes:
There some extra dialogue between the bully and Greenbaum where the bully declares for his Christmas gift - his face in Greenbaum's face.
Just before young John enters the kitchen, there's an exchange between Steve and Helen. After some implications they get straight to the fact that Helen performed oral sex on Steve the previous evening.
There is a Japanese news report after the Action News Georgia segment where the female Japanese anchor gets slapped by her male counterpart for mistakenly calling Ted a "rabbit".
Donny's flashback is revealed and included. In the theatrical version, what he describes to Ted about his fascination is only spoken.
Murphy's talk about his connection with Tom Skerritt is extended with him talking about the privileges being with him.
There's a little extension of John's "So bad, but so good" commentary where both him and Ted started singing part of the Flash Gordon theme song. John then exclaims, "Fuck yeah!"
In bed with Lori, John has a replacement line, "I'm a fucking classy broad" and an additional line, "I've been crapping out room for it for two days. I mean, I know exactly what I'm going to order." There is also additional dialogue from John once thunder is heard.
In Rex's office room, he takes out his magnifying glass and shows his "root" on the photo. After Lori leaves, he takes a short smell on the chair she sat on.
In the dinner with John and Lori, there is additional dialog by John referring to the Virgina Tech University shooting.
In the theatrical release, Lori sees a pile of feces on the floor while Ted is with four hookers at their apartment. Ted explains that Charene, the Asian hooker, defecated on the floor as part of a "truth or dare" game. In the unrated version, Ted explains that a fifth hooker named Dierdre did the mess and locked herself in the bathroom. Lori is also more furious in this scene.
Before Ted goes for the interview for the supermarket job, John responds to the attorney proposal that Ted spoke of.
In the scene where Ted and John watch the 'Cheers' DVD boxed set, Ted Danson's TV interview is longer, with Ted and John interrupting in between.
During dinner, Tami-Lynn talks about her friend's miscarriage so that she can join her for a trip. There's also more cussing by her while Ted persuades her to leave.
In the party at Rex's house, Lori's three colleagues have a conversation about Rex's one night stand locations.
In the theatrical version, Ted says that he met Norah Jones at Belinda Carlisle's house. In the unrated version, he says that he met her at a charity event for kids screwed up by a family member, and they had sex at the back room.
After John and Lori drive off to find Ted, Ted tries to escape again but stumbles upon the basement full of tattered teddy bears that belong to Donny.
Near the end, the newly-wed Lori throws a bouquet of flowers. John's co-worker Tanya grabs the bouquet before an unhappy Tami-Lynn beats her up.
I am a huge fan of Seth McFarlane, and his brilliant shows Family guy and American Dad! I couldn't be more excited for this film to come out. Every time the commercial came on, i glued my eyes to the TV. Unfortunately, that may have hyped it up too much for me. It was a funny film, with good jokes, and a simple story line. But i think my head got the best of me, making me think it was going to be one of the funniest movies i'd ever seen. The commercials stole all the really good jokes, as it always seems to do. However, i do hope Seth McFarlane decides to make another film. He's a true comic talent, who isn't afraid to take some risks. Think about it, Mark Wahlberg staring in a comedy about a man who's best friends with a drugged out, foul mouthed teddy bear. Easily could've been a disaster, but it wasn't. It was enjoyable, and I wouldn't mind seeing it again.
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