- After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
- Walden asks a girl out. When they go out, he can't help but talk about his failed marriage, making his date wonder if he's ready to move on. Alan is in the red, financially. Walden gives his ring to Alan, because he wants to move on. Alan considers selling it. But reconsiders.—rcs0411@yahoo.com
- Meeting foxy British Zoe while enjoying supermarket shopping himself, Walden finally dares dating again, only for both of them to find out he's still not over his ex Bridget. Penniless Alan fails to cash in even on his last valuable possessions at the pawnshop. So he's delighted when Walden 'disposes' of his insanely expensive wedding ring, yet can't pawn h-it and hands it back only to be shockingly frustrated again.—KGF Vissers
- "Two and a Half Men" - "A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes"- Nov. 21, 2011
Walden and Jake are grocery shopping and Jake is peppering Walden with questions about his wealth. Walden claims he doesn't like to talk about it but says he's richer than God if God only 900 million dollars. He also talks about he doesn't like to be ostentatious and do things like buy yachts and then casually drops that he has a private jet. Jake keeps offering up his services as a 17-year-old with a valid driver's license who has no hope of going to college. Then he pushes the cart. They meet a British woman named Zoe in the aisles who gets flirty with Walden. He doesn't realize this until Jake points it out and tells him to ask Zoe out. So Walden yells across the story do ask Zoe if she wants to go out. She says yes.
Back at home, Alan is stressing over his bills trying to do the thing where he pays one credit card with another. Berta sees this and says she knows this game, "7 card screwed." He talks about his problems and floats the idea of asking Walden for a loan. Berta points out that this is a bad idea since he's already living in Walden's house rent-free. She asks why he thinks Walden lets him stay. He says because he likes him. She points out that it's because Alan doesn't want anything from him and could be a real friend but if he asks for money he'll be like everyone else. Alan sees the wisdom of this.
Jake and Walden return with Jake kowtowing and calling Walden "boss" and putting away the groceries. Walden says Jake was a great wingman and because of that, and since he has his own private jet, he's giving Jake his 250,000 frequent flyer miles since he doesn't need them. Alan is aghast at how easily he parts with this. He asks Jake where he'll go. He's not sure. Alan jokes about the moon. Jake says that's silly, no one's ever been to the moon.
Alan heads to a pawn shop to try and make some money off an ancient computer and some diamond cufflinks his mother gave him. But the computer's no good and the shopkeeper figures Alan's mother didn't like him too much since they're not real diamonds. He then unearths a piece of real Steuben crystal. The shopkeeper offers him $1200 and Alan is so excited he pounds the display case and the crystal falls off and shatters. The shopkeeper than offers him $2 to clean it up.
Later, back at the house Jake hands Walden his car keys saying it's all charged and washed and he put in a new air freshener in case he "lets one slip out." Walden thanks him and gives him $100. Alan, on the couch, overhears this and sits straight up incredulous. Walden wonders if $100 was too much. Alan says he would've licked the car clean for that much. Walden asks how he looks for his date. Alan says he looks like the man women fantasize about when Alan is on top of them. He points out that he needs to take his wedding ring off though. Walden says it makes him feel secure and mentions that it's made of one of the world's most expensive metals. Alan points out that it's dating kryptonite, if Superman were a vagina. Walden is convinced and simply gives Alan the ring. Alan goes all Gollum and calls it "my precious."
While Walden is on his date Alan heads back to the pawn shop with his ring. The shopkeeper is impressed. He writes down a figure on a piece of paper. Alan asks if it's a phone number. It is not. He is overjoyed.
On the date Walden and Zoey are having dinner in a fancy restaurant. He begins to explain about his recent life: his separation, his suicide attempt, meeting Alan, buying Charlie's house, keeping Alan and Jake on, the fact that he's a billionaire. She's a little overwhelmed by all of this but the most salient point of course is how much he clearly still loves Bridget. He takes her home and he wonders if he's going to meet her 5-year-old daughter. She says no. And he wonders if maybe after another few dates. Again she says no, until he realizes there won't be anymore dates since he's stil hung up on his wife. He thinks this is preposterous and calls Bridget to tell her so.
Alan arrives home to an empty house. He finds Walden on the beach. Walden explains he had a bad date and that Bridget agreed with Zoe that he's not ready yet. He asks for his ring back. Alan gulps. But then he produces it. Walden puts it back on and then changes his mind saying he doesn't need it and flings the ring into the ocean. Alan freaks. He waits until Walden walks away and jumps into the surf, fully clothed, frantically looking for it.
As he comes up on the patio Walden is there looking at him. He tries to make up excuses and admits he wanted to get the ring to pawn it because he needs money. Walden wonders why he didn't ask him. Alan says because it would change their friendship and he doesn't want that, he wants Walden to know that he's his friend. Walden respects this but points out he doesn't loan people money for that reason, he just gives it away. Alan is impressed by this but won't take it. Walden wonders if it would help Alan's sense of pride if he started charging him rent. He says it would but points out he might be late over the next few months. Walden calls him a quality guy. Alan then asks if he had say asked for $100,000 would Walden really have given it to him? Walden says yes. Alan excuses himself to go back and jump in the ocean.
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