The Vampire Diaries (TV Series)

1912 (2012)

Ian Somerhalder: Damon Salvatore

Photos 

Quotes 

• Damon Salvatore : Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.

• Damon Salvatore : Well, I guess I could rip out Dr. False-Accusation's throat. Or maybe her tongue. I could chew it up into tiny pieces and feed it to the squirrels.

  [imitates squirrel eating] 

• Damon Salvatore : Hey, do you remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral?

  Stefan Salvatore : Vaguely. Why?

  Damon Salvatore : Because if memory serves, he wasn't the first Founders' Council member killed that year, or even that month.

  Stefan Salvatore : Your point being?

  Damon Salvatore : I'm trying to remember what year it was.

  Stefan Salvatore : 1912.

  Damon Salvatore : So much for "Vaguely."

• Elena Gilbert : You know, you could show a little compassion about Bonnie.

  Damon Salvatore : [sighs]  I know. You're right. Her and her mom must be really hurting right now. Should I send lasagna?

• Damon Salvatore : I saved your life last night.

  [whispered] 

  Damon Salvatore : You're welcome.

• Elena Gilbert : Ok, now you're just being mean.

  Damon Salvatore : I'm mean. You hate me. The Earth is back on its axis.

  Elena Gilbert : You know, if you keep pushing people away, you're going to end up alone.

• Stefan Salvatore : What do you want?

  Damon Salvatore : I was hoping we could hang. You know, a little brother bonding. I mean, I know we don't actually "hang out." We team up, we join forces, we activate our Wonder Twin Powers...

• Damon Salvatore : So, let's just say Sage was killing everyone in 1912.

  [aims dart] 

  Damon Salvatore : Who the hell is doing it now?

  [throws] 

  Damon Salvatore : It's not that psycho, Dr. Fell. She's a woman. There's no way she could stab three grown men.

  [throws another dart] 

  Rebekah Mikaelson : [catches dart before it hits the board]  That's a bit sexist. A woman could easily kill a man. With the right motivation.

  Stefan Salvatore : You just, uh, don't give up, do you?

  Rebekah Mikaelson : [to Stefan]  Why are you so grumpy?

  Damon Salvatore : He's on a master cleanse. Trying to be a better man and all.

  Rebekah Mikaelson : You know, you were a lot more fun in the '20s.

• Rebekah Mikaelson : You know, if I'm being honest, you didn't seem like much fun either.

  Damon Salvatore : I wasn't. The woman I was in love with, was stuck in a tomb, and she wasn't getting out for a hundred years. I wasn't having any fun at all.

• Rebekah Mikaelson : So, uh, tell me more about your old relatives. I heard they tore down half the woods to build this town.

  Damon Salvatore : Easy there, lushy-pants. It's been a hoot and a half, but it's boys' night, and you weren't invited.