The Longest Week (2014)

Tony Roberts: Barry the Therapist

Quotes 

• Barry the Therapist : What are you going to do? You have no home.

  Conrad Valmont : Move in with Dylan, of course.

  Barry the Therapist : How about money?

  Conrad Valmont : I'd need some, thank you. Yes.

• [first lines] 

  Conrad Valmont : I, I think that there's something wrong with me. For some reason, I find that the girls that I like as human beings I'm not sexually attracted to, and the ones that I am sexually attracted to I don't particularly like as human beings. And on the rare occasion when one falls in both categories, they usually have a boyfriend or a husband - and Lord knows I've got enough of that bad karma to last me a lifetime.

  Barry the Therapist : These are classic Freudian symptoms, Conrad. Haven't you ever read about defense mechanisms?

  Conrad Valmont : Actually, I've always considered myself more of a Jungian.

• Barry the Therapist : Take it from me, someone who's been married for 25 years, Conrad, inner beauty doesn't age.

  Conrad Valmont : You're just saying that because your wife is unattractive.

• Conrad Valmont : I never understood why someone would want to be a vegetarian. I mean, do you really love animals that much?

  Barry the Therapist : No, no, no, I just hate plants.

  Conrad Valmont : You eat fish, though, right?

  Barry the Therapist : Why?

  Conrad Valmont : All the vegetarians eat fish.

  Barry the Therapist : Well, I'm a Pisces.

  Conrad Valmont : What's that got to do with it?

  Barry the Therapist : I don't eat my own kind.

• Barry the Therapist : Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the ones we love.

  Conrad Valmont : This literary moral code of yours is completely unrealistic. This isn't a Jane Austen novel, and I'm certainly not Emily

  Barry the Therapist : You have the moral code of a Bolshevik, Conrad.