The Final Girls (2015)
Thomas Middleditch: Duncan
Photos
Quotes
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Duncan : Ever since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being the final girl.
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[the kids find themselves living inside of the old slasher movie that they were watching]
Duncan : Okay. So, we're in the movie.
Max Cartwright : Uh-huh. How do we get out of here?
Gertie Michaels : Yeah, I like that question. That is a really, really good question. Duncan, can you answer that question, please?
Duncan : What are you talking about? It's 1986! Our homes don't exist yet, they're probably just landfills waiting to be turned into crappy subdivisions. WE don't exist yet. I know for a fact my parents haven't met because I was an unplanned child.
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Duncan : I wonder if all this blood is just corn syrup, you know? Like these characters are walking around with just corn syrup in their veins. You know? Let's give it a shot here.
[Duncan rubs blood from Mimi's corpse and licks his finger]
Duncan : Oh, God. No, that is, um... That is not corn syrup. That is... Oh God, that's blood.
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Vicki Summers : I am glad that you die!
Kurt : What?
Duncan : Nothing! What she meant to say was that we all die eventually. Technically, we start dying the moment we're born.
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Duncan : The Bathematicians were so excited when I told them that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend.
Gertie Michaels : Stepsister.
Duncan : Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
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Duncan : The sequel is so much cooler than the original!
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Chris Briggs : What are Bathematicians?
Duncan : Camp Bloodbath fans. It's kind of our awesome nickname.
Gertie Michaels : Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool when you give it to yourself?
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Duncan : Camp Bloodbath is like the granddaddy of all campsite slasher films, okay. Amazing production design, insane music, over-the-top acting. It's a cult classic!
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Duncan : If this is a dream, then there's a very strong chance that my dad's gonna come up to us naked and offer us some pecan pie. But don't take any. It is not pecan pie!
