- Hal: I was hoping you might be able to help me. Leo's role in my rehabilitation was essential, and with him gone I have no one to set the tasks I need to keep me safe. So I was wondering if... perhaps... you could pick up where he left off.
- Tom: You want me to, what, be like your new Leo?
- Hal: Well no one could ever replace Leo. But perhaps you could perform a similar role.
- Tom: I think I'd be honored, mate.
- Hal: I think he would be too.
- Tom: The toilets could do with a clean.
- Hal: But don't take the piss.
- Tom: [Watching the YouTube video of his werewolf transformation] It was a trap by the vampires. We didn't know they were filming.
- Allison: It's had over a million hits.
- Tom: [Reading the comments] "FX Fail".
- Allison: As in, special effects. Thankfully most people think it's a fake.
- Hal: [More comments] "Hairy balls, LOL"?
- Allison: Well this was just the start. You know we trended last full moon.
- [they look confused]
- Allison: On Twitter. There's a Facebook group trying to hunt us down.
- Tom: Facebook?
- Allison: Don't tell me you're still on MySpace.
- Hal: We're more Ceefax people.
- Allison: [about staking vampires] Tom, that's murder.
- Tom: Like my dad used to say, you can't already kill what's dead.
- Allison: We are not staking anyone. If you have to resort to violence you've already lost the argument.
- Tom: You don't know what these people are like.
- Allison: And you don't know what my debating skills are like.
- Annie: Look it's fine. I'm all over this. We just need to figure out his unfinished business and then move him on.
- Tom: And you think that's haunting our bathroom?
- Annie: No, Tom. Of course it's not haunting our bathroom. Unfinished business is something good and something righteous.
- Emrys: Who says?
- Hal: I knew a ghost whose unfinished business was to castrate her brother-in-law. Something to do with inappropriate Salsa dancing. So it could be anything really.
- Emrys: See.
- Kane: [Trying to think of last words] Something about... heartburn? Heart... break? No, that doesn't work, does it? Shit!
- [dies]
- Allison: If people find out about the existence of vampires, werewolves and ghosts, there'll be riots. There'll be lynchings. It'll be like the tuition riots all over again.
- Hal: So you're officially courting now.
- Tom: Well, I don't know. It's fun training her and that. But we haven't even held hands yet.
- Hal: Then it is time to declare your intentions. First write her a poem and then speak to her father.
- Tom: Annie said I should just get drunk and then try and snog her.
- Hal: It's all so brutish these days! I preferred the dowry system.