A Real Pain (2024) Poster

(2024)

Kieran Culkin: Benji Kaplan

Photos 

Quotes 

  • [Benji is explaining to David how they can get through their train trip without paying] 

    Benji Kaplan : We stay moving, we stay light, we stay agile.

    David Kaplan : Yeah.

    Benji Kaplan : The conductor's gonna come through taking tickets. We tell him we're going to the bathroom.

    David Kaplan : The bathroom. Okay.

    Benji Kaplan : He gets to the back of the train, he starts heading towards the front looking for stragglers.

    David Kaplan : Sorry, we're the stragglers?

    Benji Kaplan : Yeah. By the time he gets to the front, the train's gonna be in the station and we're home free.

    David Kaplan : This is so fucking stupid.

    Benji Kaplan : Man, what's stupid is the corporatization of travel. Ensuring that the rich move around the world, propagate their elitist loins, while the poor stay cut off from society.

    David Kaplan : That's great, we can argue Marxism while they're hauling us off to Siberia.

    Benji Kaplan : Siberia is in Russia, Dave.

    David Kaplan : This is ridiculous. Tickets are probably like twelve bucks.

    Benji Kaplan : It's the principle of paying. We shouldn't have to pay for train tickets in Poland. This is our country.

    David Kaplan : No, it's not. It was our country. They kicked us out 'cause they thought we were cheap.

  • Marcia : Last year my daughter married a very rich man.

    Benji Kaplan : Oh, fuck.

    Marcia : And she's incapable of having a conversation with any depth anymore.

    Benji Kaplan : Well, yeah, of course. Money's like fucking heroin for boring people.

  • Marcia : David, we numb ourselves to avoid thinking about our impact.

    Eloge : Ignoring the proverbial slaughterhouse to enjoy the steak, as it were.

    Benji Kaplan : Yes, Eloge! Damn, that's a good analogy.

    David Kaplan : No, and I get that, I get all that, it just seems like maybe there's, like, a time and a place to grieve, and maybe it's not...

    Benji Kaplan : Yo, Dave.

    David Kaplan : What?

    Benji Kaplan : We're on a fucking Holocaust tour. If now is not the time and place to grieve, to open up, I don't know what to tell you, man.

  • [in Benji and David's hotel room] 

    Benji Kaplan : How the fuck are we supposed to smoke a joint in here? They fuckin' locked the windows. It's like a goddamn police state.

    David Kaplan : Yo, man, I think I might just wanna crash. We've been up for like twenty-four hours.

    Benji Kaplan : Don't. Don't tell me you're gonna sleep on me. This is our first night together in fuckin' years.

    David Kaplan : I don't know. I'm exhausted, I haven't showered...

    Benji Kaplan : You're exhausted? Dude, the weed's gonna help you sleep.

    David Kaplan : Is it the kind that helps you sleep?

    Benji Kaplan : No, it's the other kind.

  • Marcia : If I hear from my kids once a month, it's a shock.

    Benji Kaplan : Oh, Marcia. Fuck those guys. Man, I wouldn't miss a week.

  • Benji Kaplan : You used to be fucking different, man.

    [David scoffs] 

    Benji Kaplan : You used to be so emotional. You used to fucking cry about everything, man. Like...

    David Kaplan : Yeah, I know. It was awful. Who the fuck wants to cry about everything?

    Benji Kaplan : Dave, man, you're not fucking listening to me, man. I'm saying that *we* used to be different. Like, *we.*

    David Kaplan : Yeah. Benji, I have, like, a job and a family.

    Benji Kaplan : I know.

    David Kaplan : And I don't have time to hang out with you all night, every night, okay?

    Benji Kaplan : I don't fucking want that.

    David Kaplan : Yes, you do. You're, like, an all-encompassing person; I don't think you realize that.

    Benji Kaplan : Man, I'm just saying, like, you, like...

    David Kaplan : I don't think you realize that.

    Benji Kaplan : Man, you, like, literally never visit me.

    David Kaplan : What, in... sorry, you mean in Binghamton?

    Benji Kaplan : Yeah, man, that's where I live.

    David Kaplan : Well, yeah, I'm busy, okay? And I live in New York City. Isn't it easier for you to come down to me?

    Benji Kaplan : Easier? It's the same fucking distance, Dave.

    David Kaplan : Yeah, but it's New York City, man. It's, like, the more logical place to visit than fucking Binghamton, all due respect.

    Benji Kaplan : What's wrong with Binghamton?

    David Kaplan : Nothing is wrong with Binghamton. You are, like, purposefully making me look like an asshole for questioning it.

    Benji Kaplan : Yo, fuck off, dude.

    David Kaplan : Yo, you fuck off.

    Benji Kaplan : Why don't you give a shit about me anymore?

    David Kaplan : [choking up]  I do give a shit about you. I just don't understand how you would ever do anything so fucking stupid to yourself.

    Benji Kaplan : Dave, man...

    David Kaplan : Benji. I, like... I walk around with, like, this terrible fucking image of you in my head...

    Benji Kaplan : Mm-hmm.

    David Kaplan : Okay? And, yeah, I don't... yeah, I don't wanna lose you, okay? You see how people love you? Do you see what happens when you walk into a room? I would give anything to know what that feels like, man. To know what it feels like to have charm. To light up a room when I walk in. But you light up a room and then you, like, shit on everything inside of it.

    [Benji chuckles] 

  • Benji Kaplan : You are, like, an awesome guy stuck inside the body of somebody who's always running late. And I gotta, like, fish that fuckin' guy outta ya every time I see ya.

    David Kaplan : Thank you, I think.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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