Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Robert Downey Jr.: Tony Stark, Iron Man
Photos
Quotes
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Tony Stark : Can't you just be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?
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Tony Stark : Previously on "Peter Screws the Pooch", I tell you to stay away from this. Instead, you hacked a multi-million dollar suit so you could sneak around behind my back doing the *one thing* I told you not to do.
Peter Parker : Is everyone okay?
Tony Stark : No thanks to you.
Peter Parker : No thanks to me? Those weapons were out there and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you had just listened to me! If you even cared, you'd actually be here.
[Tony Stark steps out of the suit to reveal that he *is* in fact there]
Tony Stark : I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Do you know that I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was *crazy* to recruit a 14-year-old kid.
Peter Parker : I'm 15.
Tony Stark : No, this is where you ZIP IT, alright? The adult is talking! What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? 'Cause that's on *you*. And if you died, I feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience.
Peter Parker : Yes, sir, I...
Tony Stark : Yes.
Peter Parker : I'm sorry. In sorry.
Tony Stark : "Sorry" doesn't cut it.
Peter Parker : I understand. I just wanted to be like you.
Tony Stark : And I wanted you to be better. Okay, it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back.
Peter Parker : For how long?
Tony Stark : Forever.
Peter Parker : [on the verge of tears] No! No, no, no! Please, please, please!
Tony Stark : Let's have it.
Peter Parker : You don't understand! This is all I have! I'm nothing without this suit!
Tony Stark : If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it, okay? God, I sound like my dad.
Peter Parker : I don't have any other clothes.
Tony Stark : Okay, we'll sort that out.
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Peter Parker : [in a car with Tony] So, to become an Avenger, is there like trials or an interview?
Tony Stark : Just don't do anything I *would* do.
[Peter nods]
Tony Stark : And definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do.
[Peter looks confused]
Tony Stark : There's a little gray area in there and that's where you operate.
Peter Parker : Oh...
Tony Stark : Alright?
[Tony reaches across Peter with his arm. Peter wraps his arms around him]
Tony Stark : That's not a hug, I'm just grabbing the door for you.
[opens Peter's door]
Tony Stark : All right, kid. Good luck out there.
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Tony Stark : Sorry I took your suit. I mean, you had it coming. Actually, it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough love moment that you needed, right? To urge you on, right? Wouldn't you think? Don't you think?
Peter Parker : Gee, I, I...
Tony Stark : Let's just say it was.
[sighs]
Peter Parker : Mr. Stark, I'm...
Tony Stark : You screwed the pooch hard. Big time. But then you did the right thing: you took the dog to the free clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies... alright, not my best analogy. I was wrong about you. I think with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team.
Peter Parker : To the, to the... to the team?
Tony Stark : Yeah! Anyway, there's about 50 reporters behind that door, real ones, not bloggers, so when you're ready...
[Reveals the Iron Spider Armor]
Tony Stark : Why don't you try that on... and I'll introduce the world to the newest official member of the Avengers: Spider-Man.
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Tony Stark : Listen, I know school sucks. I know you want to save the world. But... you're not ready yet.
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Pepper Potts : Where's the kid?
Happy Hogan : He left.
Pepper Potts : Everybody's waiting.
Tony Stark : You know what? He actually made a really mature choice. It just surprised the heck out of us.
Pepper Potts : Did you guys screw this up?
Tony Stark : [points at Happy] He told the kid to go wait in the car.
Pepper Potts : Are you kidding me? I've got a room full of people in there waiting for some big announcement. What am I gonna tell them?
Tony Stark : Think of something. How about, um... Hap, you still got that ring?
Happy Hogan : [pretends to search his pockets] Do I... I, uh...
Tony Stark : The engagement ring!
Happy Hogan : [smirks] Are you kidding? I've been carrying this since 2008.
[takes out the ring and holds it up]
Tony Stark : Okay.
Pepper Potts : I think I can think of something better than that.
Tony Stark : Well, it would buy us a little time.
[Pepper kisses Tony]
Tony Stark : Like we need time.
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Tony Stark : Hey, May. How you doing? What are you wearing? Something skimpy, I hope.
[Peter frowns at Tony]
Tony Stark : Peter, that's inappropriate. All right, let's start over. You can edit it.
