User Reviews

Metal Brothers is about the brothers Thor and Odin, two thirtyfive fraternal twins who still behave like newly expatriate seventeen-year olds, constantly making their mother wash their clothes and feed them. They are moreover metalheads, and big fans of an obscure Canadian band that almost had a hit 20 years ago.

The film starts at that, and very slowly, you get to know the brothers. From the beginning, you see only the outer, two raw silly metalhead, but slowly can see that there's more that they have to give. The characters are, however, according to me is not strong enough to carry the film, which desperately needed.

The film has bet everything on humor and the few characters, but it is not enough to keep the incredibly weak story from shining through. But the film made me laugh a few times, so it gets a FIVE.

But what is the story? It's a little tricky question to answer, the story is all over the place, and still kind of nowhere. They live in a small community, and the local outlet has a new owner and also, by chance, the new neighbor of the brothers, played by Kjell Bergqvist, who is playing his classic "half-grumpy old man" style. The brothers are working at the outlet, and when they are ordered, by their new boss, to work as cashiers, they refuse, reasoning that it is "gay". Ridiculous, I know, and it sets the tone for the rest of the film.

The brothers are kicked out of their apartment they rent received by work, and must move in with their mother again, who is a society priest. She has her own side-story about her trying to get more people to come to the service through various silly activities, like candy hunt. Also incredibly ridiculous.

The story kind of weirds out, not knowing where to go, yet still things are happening, as if they had lots of ideas, but none of them performed or developed well enough. This is the biggest flaw of the movie. If they settled on a main story arc, it would've been a lot better. I mean, you can have both humor and a story. The story could've been as crazy and as unlikely as director Ulf Malmros previous movie "Slim Susie", and it would still have been better then this quite incoherent mess.

Spoilers ahead:

Their new neighbor tries to get them to move, but the only thing that happens is actually two small scenes where water and electricity is lost, and it has no real effect. Oh, they yell at each other a little bit, but ultimately it's just a few jokes, and no story.

The brothers both want the same girl, a schooltheacher played by Mia Skäringer. When one gets her behind the back of the other, a bit of tension is building, but when the confrontation does come, it's just like he shrugs it off immediately. Maybe it's due to the fact he get's his own girl one minute later.

The girl, in fact a Norwegian Gothic emo chick, played by Tuva Novotny, comes from nowhere. Really, she just jumps off a bus, from nowhere (well, Norway I presume, but hey, talking about from the audience point of veiw) and randomly joins the film. Sure it is justified in exposition that the mom found her on some dating site or something, but why not show it instead of she just being there? "Show, not tell," as they say.

But the emo character is still nothing but bunch of joke. Even her name is a big joke, Evil Bitch, pronounced Eh-vill Bitch.

When the movie ends, it feel's like nothing has happened, except that you have seen some weird things. I'm not even sure if the brothers learned any lesson from it all. Im not sure if that was the intention of not, but a good movie it does not make.

All in all, it's a weak film, but the acting and humor worked at least for me enough to give it a 5.

I was looking forward to this movie a little. Swedish comedies are most often terrible but one exception is "Smala Sussie", by Ulf Malmros. After which Malmros's films have become worse and worse. "Mammas pojkar" feels like a smelly road kill. There is no plot, and the characters are boring, cliché and unlikable. My girlfriend begged me to turn the movie of and then I saw the rest on my own. When the credits rolled, I could not believe it, what happened to the setup of "the boys" getting a metal concert together with their favorite band, "Ludor"?

Even the main actors seem unsure of what to do, and somewhat funny costumes does not make a comedy.

There is no reason for anyone to see this film. None.

**** May contain strong spoilers ****

This is a review made by StoneDraim... and that means that if you want to read a probably different kind of review, keep reading....

This is my personal experience, my personal point of view/perspective and my personal opinion... and my opinion is just one of like 7 billions in this world.

I got two things to say about this movie...no, three things. 1. The more you focus one something and lift into the spotlight, the more you will get of it. 2. All successful people are bad, and all "martyrs and sad people" are good. WHAT? The clear and political message in the outer edge of "Mammas pojkar" is just too absurd...and, to be honest, sad. 3. It is Swedish. I stand my ground.

Over to the movie as a product: - The production : Typical Swedish production. Some nice camera sweepings, that is it. Some blood also... in a Swedish comedy; a little rare. Look at 1:21:30. - The actors : Typical Swedish actors. - Entertainment : Where...? - Age : None, in mypoint of view.

4,0 out of 10. (The final rate is based most on my own entertainment of the movie. Short elucidation of the rating: 4 Failed. Lacking in character. 3 Bad. Weak. Foul.)

Warning: Contains spoilers

I thought "Speed 2" was the lowest abyss to which filmmaking (used in the most liberal sense of the word) could descend.

I was wrong.

Wasting too many minutes writing this review, after having been robbed of an hour and a half of my life to endure this ordeal - which was nothing but extended torture in spite of the option to fast-forward past some of the abundant dull moments - serves only the one purpose of warning everybody else to steer clear from this meltdown as you would avoid the plague. If it comes anywhere near you, run for your life.

Writing "Warning: Contains spoilers" at the top of this review was a no-brainer. There is simply nothing to spoil. No plot, no jokes, no acting, no character development, no twists, nothing. I mean, literally nothing.

It starts at cringingly awful and goes downhill from there.

(Oh by the way, did I write something about "no brain"? Now there's a Freudian slip.)

Calling it amateurish is an insult to amateurs worldwide. Words simply are not sufficient to describe the full horror of this disaster. It's when you're subject to films like this you realise how poor our language is, how devoid of suitable invectives, to describe it.

You stop cringing at the attempted jokes about a few seconds in, and instead feel absolutely embarrassed, not by the behaviour of the characters, but for the sake of the people involved in cooking up this mess.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the film moves into an eye-rollingly abhorrent attempt of spoofing a music video, only to be followed by yet more nothing. And then all of a sudden the end credits roll, leaving you thinking that perhaps this was not meant as a serious movie attempt after all, but simply a showcase for Steadicam, the use of which is employed ad nauseam and well beyond to the point that we all want to throw up from seasickness, providing we haven't emptied our intestines in such manner already.

In preschool, we thought that dressing up in silly costumes (involving pink wigs) and adding stupid accents was hysterical. Seeing a movie actually trying to produce comedy for adults in that very way makes you seriously want to use some of the metal boys' chains and shackle those responsible for this epic failure to any point that can be calculated to be as far from any movie-making equipment as humanely possible. The planet Uranus, for instance.

Subjecting the general public to such films should be classed as acts of crimes against humanity under the Geneva convention.