Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Dave Goelz: The Great Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Zoot, Beauregard, Waldorf
Photos
Quotes
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Rowlf the Dog : [On the sign in German] Die Muppets?
Waldorf : It looks like the reviews are out early.
Statler : Or maybe that's the suggestion box.
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[Salma Hayek and Gonzo are dressed in lurid red costumes for the Indoor Running of the Bulls]
Salma Hayek : Gonzo, I don't want to do this.
Gonzo : What? This is gonna be fantastic!
Salma Hayek : Are you sure?
Gonzo : [confidently] Nope.
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[first lines]
First AD : And cut!
Walter : Wow, that was so amazing!
Kermit : Walter, you did a wonderful job.
Walter : Thank you, Kermit. Did we get that?
Miss Piggy : We got it.
Kermit : We got it, yup.
First AD : [speaks into bullhorn] Movie's over, people, go home. That is a wrap.
Scooter : Okay, nice work, everyone. Make sure to fill out your I-9's, and we'll see you on the next one.
Scooter : [crew leaves the set] So uh, what do we do now?
Fozzie Bear : Well, we're together again. We got the theater and all our fans are back.
Rowlf the Dog : Actually, those were extras.
Fozzie Bear : I saw a few tapping their toes.
Scooter : Yeah, those were paid dancers.
Fozzie Bear : Oh.
Miss Piggy : Or, maybe since we're all here, now could be the perfect time for you and me to tie the knot, Kermie.
Kermit : [stammering] Well... I mean, maybe I could-...
Walter : Hey, what's the camera still doing here?
Statler : Oh no, disaster! That can only mean one thing!
Waldorf : Doggone it, you're right.
Statler : Mm-hmm.
Waldorf : It looks like they've ordered a sequel.
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Jean Pierre Napoleon : Bring in the purple guy with the schnozz!
[Gonzo enters to be interrogated]
Sam Eagle : Do you remember what you did / on the night you played Madrid?
Gonzo : I was hit by a raging bull / and rushed off stage to the hospital!
Jean Pierre Napoleon : Gonzo, what do you know / about the sculpture thefts at Madrid's Prado?
Gonzo : I never saw the stolen busts / I spent the night in bed concussed.
Sam Eagle : The truth is, Gonzo, the clock is ticking.
Gonzo : If you don't believe me, ask the chicken! Camilla was there, she'll cooperate!
Jean Pierre Napoleon : Madame, are you willing to corroborate?
Camilla : Bawk bawk begawk, begawk gawk gawk!
Sam Eagle : Will someone get this chicken out of here?
Gonzo : Calm down, Camilla, it's a routine inspection!
Jean Pierre Napoleon , Sam Eagle : Thank you, Gonzo! No more questions!
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Kermit , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Gonzo , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : [singing 'We're Doing A Sequel'] We're doing a sequel...
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : I don't mean to be a stickler, But this is the seventh sequel to our original motion picture
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Kermit , Gonzo , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : [singing 'We're Doing A Sequel'] We're doing a sequel
Beaker : [Beaker is teleported into a monitor with a test pattern screen, running frantically] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Kermit , Gonzo , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : Let's give it a shot,
Kermit : All we need now is a half-decent plot...
Gonzo : Got it: an epic love story between a very handsome, long-nosed, purple thing and a beautiful chicken.
Gonzo : [the scenery falls over] I call it: "Gonzo With the Wind".
Camilla : [Camilla clucks]
Kermit : Does anybody have any other ideas?
Fozzie Bear : Oh, oh! It's about getting the Muppets back together again to stop an evil oil baron from demolishing the old studio!
Kermit : Fozzie, did you even watch our last film?
Miss Piggy : It's about a frog who marries a beautiful, perfect pig, and they have to kiss each other a lot!
Kermit : Uh...
Swedish Chef : [subtitled Swedish-sounding gibberish] How about a film on the existential conundrum of religious faith?
Kermit : I don't think Americans watch subtitled films.
Dominic Badguy : [Ricky Gervais appearing as himself] Kermit, how about the Muppets go on a world tour?
Kermit : [Kermit gasps in surprise] That's perfect!
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The Great Gonzo : Hey, I have an amazing idea for an act. It's called the indoor running of the bulls.
Kermit the Frog : Gonzo, I've told you, that act is far too dangerous.
The Great Gonzo : Actually, Kermit, I was asking Dominic what he thinks.
Kermit the Frog : Good grief.
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Beauregard : Let's go, guys!
[starting the train in reverse]
Beauregard : Oh! Oh. Well, that must reverse. Um... oh, well. This way looks good, too.
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Kermit the Frog : Since we're playing such a big theater, let's stick with what we know. We'll open with a cabaret number...
The Great Gonzo : Kermit, when do I do the indoor running of the bulls?
[a bull bellows, and the other Muppets jump as its crate rocks]
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : Mr. Kermit, sir? I would very much like to demonstrate my magnetic bomb-attractor vest.
Kermit the Frog : [Beaker approaches in said suit] Bunsen, why would you even invent one of those?
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : Why did I invent the unexpectedly exploding cupcake?
[inside Beaker's helmet, said cupcake explodes]
The Great Gonzo : Hey, what about Muppet Ladder?
Kermit the Frog : Muppet Ladder? That's never, ever worked, Gonzo. Last time we all tried that was twenty years ago, and you ended up in a cast for six months.
The Great Gonzo : Yeah, good times.
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Scooter : We were all wondering, what's the set list for tomorrow, chief?
Constantine : Mm, I don't care. Do whatever you want.
Miss Piggy : What?
Floyd Pepper : Is he serious?
The Great Gonzo : Um, uh, Kermit, could I do indoor running of the bulls?
Constantine : Sure, Zongo. Who cares?
The Great Gonzo : Wow! Thank you, Kermit!
Miss Piggy : Kermie, if he can do his thing, why can't I sing my five songs?
Constantine : Well... you can. Who cares?
Scooter : We don't have time for all this stuff. We're up to, like, a three-hour show, Kermit.
Constantine : You are forgetting one thing, small man with glasses. I can give you what you want.
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Scooter : We've all been thinking, and, uh... well, after you and Miss Piggy get married, what's gonna happen to the tour?
The Great Gonzo : And to us?
Constantine : Well, now you guys have all the freedom you want. You don't need me. I'm done with Muppets.
[they all react in surprise]
Constantine : But, hey, it's been a good run, right? Hmm? Good luck.
Floyd Pepper : [watching him leave] Kermit!
Rowlf the Dog : Did, uh... did he just say what I thought he said?
Scooter : What are we gonna do without Kermit?
Floyd Pepper : The only thing we can do. Pack up, go to the wedding, and head back home.
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Constantine : Comrades, I'm afraid I have bad news. Walter and Fonzie have quit the Muppets.
Lew Zealand : [the group gasps] Wait. You can quit the Muppets?
Rowlf the Dog : Wait a second. Walter quit the Muppets? We just did a whole movie where he joined the Muppets.
Floyd Pepper : Yeah, we sure spent a lot of time on it.
Rizzo the Rat : Ha! I'll say. Maybe even at the expense of other long-standing, beloved Muppets. Come on, Robin.
Robin : [following him out] Coming.
Constantine : Well, as the old saying goes... the show must continue, in a timely fashion.
The Great Gonzo : Wait. Fozzie and Walter are part of our family. We can't let them go without a fight.
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Walter : We're sorry, Kermit. We're sorry that we didn't notice you were missing. We're sorry we didn't tell you often enough how much you mean to all of us. We're sorry we ever took you for granted. But that's never going to happen again. Because if Kermit has to go back to the Gulag...
[holding out his wrists]
Walter : ...you'll have to take me, too.
Fozzie Bear : You're my best friend, Kermit. Wherever you go, I go. You'll have to take me, too.
The Great Gonzo : And me. Kermit, we convinced ourselves that evil frog was you because he gave us what we thought we wanted.
Rowlf the Dog : When what we really wanted...
Scooter : What we really needed...
Miss Piggy : Was you, Kermit. The actual, real you.
Nadya : It would appear you were right, Kermit. I guess this is your family. And families belong together. You are free to go. Forever.
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Gonzo : [about Dominic] Well, he seems like a nice guy.
Rowlf the Dog : Yeah. Humble and honest.
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Kermit the Frog , Gonzo , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : We're doing a sequel.
Kermit the Frog : Let's give it a go.
Tony Bennett : With Hollywood stars.
Lady Gaga : And more one-liner cameos.
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[Gonzo's Running With the Bulls stunt is a disaster]
Gonzo : Who could have thought that this would go wrong?
Salma Hayek : I did.
